Action-packed 'Wonder Woman 1984' a mixed blessing for superhero film fans
“Wonder Woman 1984” - ★ ★
Just when we needed a pure escapist superhero movie to lift us out of our pandemic malaise and inspire us with some truth, justice and American ways, along comes “Wonder Woman 1984” to save us!
And it does.
But only during its first two spectacular showcase action sequences accompanied by the bombastic bravado of Hans Zimmer's vocal-infused super score.
After directing 2017's stereotype-smashing, politically charged “Wonder Woman” (the first major studio superhero film directed by a woman), Jenkins delivers a wildly inconsistent, lengthy and lumpy sequel coagulated with slow-motion shots and warring genres. It's a comic book action film, a time-travel tale, a magic lamp fantasy, a body-switch comedy and a loopy “Twilight Zone” hybrid drawing heavily on the classic wishes-gone-wild short story “The Monkey's Paw.”
A flashback shows young Diana on the Amazonian island of Themyscira competing in a grueling contest combining “American Ninja Warrior” with a Quidditch match.
Flash-forward to 1984 when the adult Diana (reprised by the elegantly physical Gal Gadot) leaps around town as Wonder Woman, demonstrating her super strength and multifunctional Lasso of Truth (as a whip, a Spiderman mode of transportation, an airplane propeller and a flexible light saber).
Why 1984? Apparently just so her boyfriend Steve Trevor can be comically frightened by a break dancer before he dons a series of hilariously bad '80s fashions during an overused Hollywood cliché called “the humorous fashion montage.”
Oh, you're right. Studly Steve (Chris Pine again) did die, and heroically so, back in 1918 during “Wonder Woman.”
Diana uses a Dreamstone - an ancient gem capable of granting wishes - to bring her beloved Steve back to life in the body of a stranger, even though Pine plays the role.
The Dreamstone grants the wishes of two other key characters.
Barbara Minerva (an impressively versatile Kristen Wiig), Diana's mousy, insecure co-worker at the Smithsonian Museum, wishes to be as strong, sexy and confident as Diana, not realizing that it will make her the second Wonder Woman, soon to be the Cheetah, a disappointingly weak, villainous feline resembling a rejected chorus line character from the musical “Cats.”
The second wish-making villain is uber-oily dealmaker and fake billionaire Max Lord (“The Mandalorian” star Pedro Pascal with TV evangelist hair and a slithery voice). He sells himself as a respected TV personality, one who occasionally trumps his childish rants (“I am not a loser! He's a loser!”) with paranoid ravings (“It's a conspiracy against my success!”)
Apparently, the three writers of “WW 1984” missed the three rules of granting wishes from Robin Williams' Genie in Disney's “Aladdin,” especially the one about no wishes to have more wishes. Instead, Jenkins' movie spirals out of control as Max uses his Dreamstone powers to grant one preposterous wish after another, until “WW” literally erupts into WWIII.
Gadot, a former Miss Israel and Israeli army combat instructor, effortlessly commands the screen with her lethal boomerang eyebrows and raw charisma.
But why can't she enjoy a true stand-alone female superhero movie without pining over a reanimated dead man? (“I can't give you up!” she says to Steve. “I'll never love again!”)
Why can't Wonder Woman have her own signature closing shot instead of duplicating Christopher Reeve's flying finale from 1978's “Superman?” (Yes, she can fly now. Don't ask.)
Most important, why do Wonder Woman's bloody bullet wounds keep disappearing and reappearing, sometimes in different places?
Those Amazon warriors possess all sorts of amazing powers.
Starring: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal
Directed by: Patty Jenkins
Other: A Warner Bros. release. On HBO Max. Rated PG-13 for violence. 151 minutes