Christmas catalogs and other memories that help those who are grieving

Well, we all have memories of childhood. If they were good memories, they help a lot when bereaved. Happy times - especially now around the holidays.

There were six of us growing up. Now only my sister, Mary, and I are left. The rest of the family have died. It's so strange. In the late 1950s, one of our little family entertainments was for all of us to pile in the tan and white Ford station wagon and drive down to the nearby Mississippi River where there was a Dairy Queen. I wish I had a photo of that car.

The ice cream shop was about a block east of the river bridge. It was a small, square building just like DQs still look today. We'd get ice cream cones with that soft ice cream that came out of a spigot. Actually, sometimes I didn't even have a cone; I just enjoyed the fun family outing. But the rest of the family loved the cones. I was healthy but not very interested in eating as a child. I could use some more of that attitude now!

There is a Dairy Queen right here in nearby East Dundee, the same type of small square building as always. It's been recently refurbished and spruced up because I guess it's been there for decades. I drive by it often. It's still frequented by lots of families bringing their children for a treat.

I had a research colleague in college who said the best burgers in the world were from the Dairy Queen. I may go get such a DQ burger one of these days. He was still eating them in his 40s, so there you go.

The station wagon was a big deal in post World War II America, an era famous for four-child families. Ours was two girls, two boys - right on target. Luckily we had a big house. And we had a cat, Sheba. Sheba was a boy but we didn't know that when he was a kitten. So he was a boy named Sheba. I have a kitty named Sheba but she's a girl. Most black and white cats are male, but she's a girl. So the reverse of the original Sheba. Fate, I suppose.

There was another food innovation in those years (about 1960 I think): the fast food drive-in restaurant. At first, they were a one-of-a-kind local restaurant where you drove to it and sat in the parking lot while one person ran in and bought back a big bag of fast-food burgers and fries. This was before drive-through windows. This was before McDonald's. So it became another one of these little family outings, and we considered it quite something - fast food, no waiting, no table. The first one in my hometown of Brainerd, Minnesota, was just a pickup quick stop. Family entertainment was pretty simple, inexpensive and innocent in those days!

Now that Christmas is approaching, I'm thinking of still another old-time family entertainment: the Christmas catalog. I'm getting lots of catalogs these days, which reminds me of my childhood and the arrival of the Sears Christmas catalog. Of course those big printed catalogs - Sears, Penney's, Ward's - were discontinued years ago. Yet there are many, many specialty catalogs, especially now that the coronavirus has revived mail order shopping, while online shopping is preferred by nearly everyone. When I was growing up, the arrival of the old printed Sears catalog enhanced the anticipation of the upcoming celebrations and gifts. That catalog was especially fun for children. I remember many evenings poring over it with my brother, Nic, picking out clothes, games and treats we hoped would be part of Christmas.

The point is: There are many triggers that bring forth memories that make us feel better. It could be seeing a photo of an old Ford station wagon in a world now populated by SUVs (I have an SUV), it could be a song, or it could be something you eat.

I have a dear friend celebrating his 80th birthday; he is my husband's BFF. I found a photo of them together and just mailed it to him with a birthday card. We need to let these nice memories flow freely. They help a lot.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.