How you begin the day is important
How we start the day is vital to having a successful, happy, and productive day.
The better you feel about life and yourself, the better able you are to handle life's challenges such as managing long-term grief.
Grief is less likely to surface if you are feeling good.
My dear husband Baheej practiced something he called "cerebral hygiene." For him this meant not to clutter up his mind with TV news, politics, or other distressing and distracting information and activities or discussions early in the morning.
On days he was not teaching at Columbia College downtown, he always wrote first thing in the morning, after coffee and breakfast. He didn't listen to "noise" or bad news in the morning because he wanted to have a calm and clear mind to concentrate on the next pages of his novel in progress. He went to a nearby Starbucks, sat outside when the weather was mild, and wrote.
He enjoyed seeing the other regulars such as Bob and Barbara with their two golden retrievers, and his barista friend SueAnn. It was a peaceful and calm environment for imagination to flourish. After he was done, he came home and was open to all else.
There is definitely a plus to this idea of starting the day "on the right foot."
This means different things to different people - but the core idea is to start the day in a way that puts you on a positive track for the rest of the day. Me - I don't mind news in the morning, it doesn't bother or disturb my psyche. But often I just listen to music for a couple hours once I get up and around. It is soothing.
Some suggestions:
• If you are "dieting" or simply trying to "eat healthy," start with a breakfast that is good for you and within your plan.
• If you are facing a big project, start while you are fresh and not distracted by all the other things life brings forth.
• If you have errands to run, do them early.
• Be in touch with friends and make happy plans.
• Not everyone is a "morning person," but whenever your day starts, make a good start. Maybe it's psychological, maybe biological, maybe habit - but a good start to the day, in my experience, usually sets the course of the day.
"Cerebral hygiene" means starting your day by protecting yourself from negative influences and feelings so you can pursue a positive and productive plan for the day. Actually sitting down with a cup of coffee or tea and planning the day is helpful.
Baheej and I used to do that every morning. It gives you perspective and nice things to anticipate later in the day.
Protecting yourself from "negative people" is another part of a good day. This is very important because negative people can pull you down. Of course we must all cope with problems and help our friends when they are distressed. But if you have people around who are always negative, complaining, unhappy over everything - protect yourself.
The self is strong, but can be vulnerable to such negativity, so one must put up some shields and guard rails against such influence.
Begin a nice day!
• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a Ph.D. in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College, and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at DailyHerald.anderson-khleif.