Guest columnist Amy Florian: As long as there are people working for positive change, we have hope

My work is in the field of grief, and I've seen an overwhelming amount of it recently.

Many struggle with the death or serious illness of a loved one. COVID alone caused more than 1 million extra deaths in the U.S. People lost homes and businesses to wildfires or hurricanes. Stock market fluctuations and inflation threaten the financial security of countless families and individuals. Friends and family members became estranged over politics, religion or other issues. Dreams and plans were disrupted or shattered.

Historically, times of great grief generated solidarity — a feeling that we're all in this together, so we need to help each other out. But things have been different lately. Our country has largely retreated into fear and survival instincts rather than solidarity.

Instead of reaching out to each other, recognizing what we have in common more than our differences, too many people across the spectrum have retreated into their own silos, with a goal of preserving what they want, how they live, their beliefs, and their goals for themselves to the exclusion of all others.

Instead of giving everyone a voice, we actively work to silence the voice of those we fear will “take away” what we have or want.

We seem to have lost (or never acquired) the skill of listening to understand rather than listening to argue or disprove. We operate from a principle of scarcity — if someone else gets a benefit, it takes something away from me — rather than a principle of abundance, where there's enough for everyone and we all benefit when we share with, uphold and help each other.

My greatest wish for the coming year is a return to the recognition that we all belong, that we're in this together, and that our duty as citizens and as people of good will is to work for the rights of all people, even those with whom we disagree.

I wish for Democrats and Republicans to once again work together, compromise, and hash out laws that overall are good for the people of America, even if neither party gets exactly what they want. I wish for people of all faiths to be respected and welcomed. I wish for an end to disinformation and hate speech.

I wish for a world not controlled by those who have the most money and whose goal is to preserve their own wealth and worldview over all others. I wish for integrity and honesty to win out over fear.

Do I hold great hope that these wishes will be fulfilled? Unfortunately, no. Negativity has become deeply ingrained in the workings of our society and the minds of too many people, including those who have the power to change it. And yet ... I am not hopeless. As long as there are individuals and even small groups working for change, hope is not lost.

I see manifest kindness as people extend a hand, offer a welcoming smile, stand up for those without a voice, generously give of their time and money, strive to be a model of integrity and justice, truly listen to those in need and try to meet their needs, and dedicate themselves to working for a better world for all people. Sometimes, individuals are able to do this only within their own sphere. Sometimes they join with others and do it on a larger scale.

Regardless, I believe that at heart, we are all good people worthy of love, dignity, and rights. Or to quote a rather famous document — we all deserve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

If someone else gains their rights, it doesn't take away mine. If someone else rises out of poverty, it's ultimately good for me, too. If we work together to lift each other up, we all benefit. We may have to give up something we'd rather keep, or change our ways, yet we receive back so much more in return as we build a better society and world where everyone has a chance and every person is valued.

• Amy Florian, of Hoffman Estates, is CEO of Corgenius, a professional training organization that helps companies and individuals deal with grief and life transitions. This essay is a response to an invitation for members of our editorial advisory Sounding Board to share some of their thoughts at the approach of the New Year.