Editorial: A Mother's Day message

A mother, said China's First Lady Peng Liyuan, is “a child's first teacher,” and that is accurate enough, but we prefer the way 19th century novelist George Eliot described it.

“Life began,” Eliot wrote, “with waking up and loving my mother's face.”

The truth of that is so exquisite that it is almost all that needs to be said about the nature of mothers.

Today is Mother's Day, and it is a celebration to cherish regardless of Mom's imperfections and regardless of whether she still lives or is gone.

For those of us who have lost our mothers, that loss remains with us for all of our days no matter how long ago it took place.

But also: For those of us who have lost our mothers, she remains with us too, a part of who we are, no matter how old we age.

“Ye gods and little fishes.” There are days when we smile overhearing ourselves utter one of her expressions. There are times when we nod noticing the resemblance in the way a daughter rolls her eyes. There are moments when our chest swells thinking how proud our mother must be in the way her grandchildren turned out.

For those of us who have lost our mothers, she remains still always at our side, our constant comfort and our relentless guardian.

We absolutely love the way French novelist Marcel Proust described the grief over a mother's passing.

“When you still had your mother, you often thought of the days when you would have her no longer. Now you will often think of days past when you had her,” Proust wrote. “When you are used to this horrible thing that they will forever be cast into the past, then you will gently feel her revive, returning to take her place, her entire place, beside you.”

Proust did not stop there. “Tell yourself this too,” he wrote, “for it is a kind of pleasure to know that you will never love less, that you will never be consoled, that you will constantly remember more and more.”

Our mothers are not perfect people, but their intentions are. From the moment of our births, all mothers love unconditionally, forgive absolutely, worry incessantly and care resolutely. This is true even of mothers who are inadequate.

And just imagine all the extra loving and forgiving and worrying and caring she has done in this past year of the pandemic.

If you are blessed to still have your mother, reach out to her today and let her know how blessed you feel. Reach out to her on other days too.

And if you are not so blessed, count the blessings of all the days when you were. Cherish and share your memories. Teach your children and grandchildren about her. Pass along her love.

Wherever you are, Mom, happy Mother's Day.