Facts of life we couldn't have imagined two months ago

Two months ago, who would have thought ...

• that Vision 2020 would be replaced by COVID-19 as the phrase of the year?

• that suburban residents who once dreamed of winning a million dollars now would be satisfied just to find a roll of toilet paper?

• How much money you can save when you can't leave the house.

• that gasoline prices would drop this low but we'd have no place to go?

• that both the Cubs and Sox would go undefeated in April and probably May.

• Or that the Bulls would win as many playoff games as the LeBron James-led Lakers?

• Or that Northwestern would win as many NCAA tournament games as Kansas and Duke combined?

• that when sports betting became legal in Illinois, there'd be no games to bet on?

• that navigating rush hour traffic would now involve walking 10 paces to our home offices?

• that beyond health workers and our first responders, the heroes of 2020 would include the good women and men who stock our grocery store shelves?

• that the great American pastime would become finding new and exciting ways to wash our hands?

• that a homemade hand-sanitizer made with booze would give "rubbing alcohol" a whole new meaning?

• that work-at-home sweatpants and fuzzy slippers would become spring's biggest fashion musts?

• that a J.B. Pritzker press conference would become must-see TV?

• that it turns out we can survive without a daily Starbucks run?

• that we'd applaud the return of Hallmark Christmas movies in March?

• that the IHSA boys basketball tournaments would be canceled and the entire spring season would be put on hold?

• that March madness would take on a meaning far different from college basketball?

• that we'd be worried about what the Easter Bunny is going to do with a gazillion plastic eggs that kids won't be able to hunt for this spring?

• that we'd actually have time to clean cabinets and closets on the to-do list?

• that we'd bludgeon each other in the grocery aisles for the hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes, and then go home to kiss our dogs and cats?

• that we'd treat both our neighbors and strangers like they had just emerged from the pods in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" as we practiced something called "social distancing."

• that you would take a walk down the street in your neighborhood and people you know would alternate their route to get away from you?

• that we'd ever go into the grocery store and get behind a seasoned couple with 18 frozen pizzas and multiple pounds of ground beef?

• how much we would miss a handshake or a hug?