Editorial: Lessons worth reflection from a former first lady

Michelle Obama's memoir hits bookstores today. And tonight, she will discuss the book's thoughts and revelations with Oprah Winfrey before a nearly sold-out crowd at Chicago's United Center.

We did not receive an advance copy of "Becoming: An Intimate Conversation With Michelle Obama," but have read with interest the details released in the past few days. While we can't condone charging people hundreds to be a part of this book tour, we respect the former first lady's candor on certain issues and her willingness to admit her insecurities - something we all face.

There are, after all, lessons to be gleaned from the life, insights and passions of a woman who rose from a "cramped" apartment on Chicago's South Side to attend Princeton University and Harvard Law School, eventually becoming the nation's only black first lady.

Among them:

• The best way to deal with doubters is to prove them wrong.

In an interview with Robin Roberts, Obama dropped into a dance class at Whitney Young High School, her alma mater. She shared with the teens that a counselor there once told her she wasn't "Princeton material." "I'll show you," she vowed. And she did.

• Stereotypes divide.

At times, the former first lady was depicted as "an angry black woman" - a "damaging cliché," she writes, "that's been forever used to sweep minority women to the perimeter of every room."

• There is strength, not shame, in seeking help.

Michelle Obama shares that she and Barack Obama attended marriage counseling, where they learned how to talk through their differences and ask for help when they needed it.

• Words have the power to incite.

Michelle Obama takes President Donald Trump to task on this front. "The whole (birther) thing was crazy and mean-spirited, of course, its underlying bigotry and xenophobia hardly concealed," she writes. "But it was also dangerous, deliberately meant to stir up the wingnuts and kooks."

• "Optics" matter, but the message behind them may be more important.

In the case of the Obama administration, questions arose about the wisdom of throwing a White House Halloween party during the economic slowdown. She went ahead. But the example points out that balancing perception and personal beliefs is important for public figures - a lesson made clear by current First Lady Melania Trump's decision to wear a jacket proclaiming "I really don't care. Do U?" on a trip to visit children at a detention center.

• Sharing experiences can help others to heal.

Obama talks of feeling "lost and alone" after a miscarriage 20 years ago. She did not know - because women rarely talk about them - how common miscarriages are. Struggling with her miscarriage and infertility issues, she says she felt like she "failed."

"We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we're broken," she told Robin Roberts.

Maybe, thanks to Obama's candor, fewer women will feel that way.