Group helps young fathers connect with their children

BELLEVILLE, Ill. (AP) - Shaquille Armstrong is helping young fathers learn the importance of getting involved in their children's lives.

'œThere are certain things boys are more comfortable talking to their father's about rather than their moms,'ť Armstrong said.

His passion for helping to mentor, teach, and share experiences with other young men inspired Armstrong to start an organization that he calls No Father Left Behind.

In June, the group marked the grand opening of its new headquarters in Belleville, where Armstrong invited people to come out and celebrate.

'œAbout 30 people came out . It was a real event. We thank those who showed up. Going forward, we hope too see more people at our events,'ť Armstrong said.

Armstrong wants young fathers who have stepped up and are now participating in their children's lives to be celebrated, with the hope that their energy and efforts will be passed along to many other young fathers.

For at least the last couple of years, he and several young fathers have gotten together to talk about how to be an active part of their children's lives.

He is excited about the new location for No Father Left Behind. 'œIt's going to be a great place for us to gather and share thoughts, ask questions, receive mentoring, make plans and more,'ť Armstrong said.

Fittingly, he said, the opening of the new headquarters was Father's Day weekend.

Armstrong said young fathers in his group who had not been able to step up for their children in the past for one reason or another should be commended for what they are doing today. 'œ I know they feel good and I feel good for them,'ť he said.

Pam Manning, former superintendent of the Cahokia School District, said she was not surprised to learn what Armstrong was doing to help young fathers. She has known him for a number of years and said he has always been an inspirational person.

``He is to be commended for what he is doing to make sure no father is left behind,'ť she said 'œOur children need their fathers in their lives,'ť Manning said. ``Shaquille always does positive things.'ť

Some of the men in No Father Left Behind serve as mentors for other fathers. It is a close knit group, and the mission is simple: Fathers learning what they need to do to be there for their children.

Armstrong said some of the discussions have been about parental conflicts and how to resolve them peacefully. Others have been about how members of the group can help young fathers who lack resources to buy the essential things their children need like toiletries and clothes.

Armstrong, 24, is single with no children. His experience growing up without his natural father in his life helps inform his mentoring of young fathers today.

He recalls having many questions he felt he needed to ask his father but couldn't. 'œMy mom always tried her best to answer my questions, but there were questions I had that I needed to have answered by my father,'ť he said.

Armstrong said he would be remiss not to give his stepfather credit for loving him and making sure he was prepared for adulthood. 'œI was blessed to have a stepfather who loved me and wanted me to be successful in life,'ť Armstrong said.

Armstrong knew there were others in the world who grew up without their fathers in their lives. He wants to share his experience so young fathers today know what it is like for a kid not to have his dad around.

One project the group is working on is helping fathers who are incarcerated in the St. Clair County Jail so they can have stable relationships with their children when they are released.

''We go to the jail to make sure the fathers have relations with their children,'ť Armstrong said. 'œWe help the fathers who need to restore their relationships with their children to mend them. Some of them have not communicated with their children for seven years... since they were born.

'œWe help them to buy Christmas cards or other special occasion cards for them so their children know they are trying to extend the olive branch.'ť

In November, No Father Left Behind presented two young fathers with awards recognizing them for stepping up and being there for their children.

Yavon Gore, who grew up in East St. Louis and lives in St. Louis today, was one of the two recipients. He said the group and Armstrong 'œencouraged me and helped me to understand the importance of my role as a father to my three children.'ť

'œI use the things I know and have learned to help teach other young fathers.We need to guide them. The young fathers I have spoken to seem to feel a lot better to know they are not in their situations alone,'ť Gore said. 'œThey see other fathers with the same circumstances as theirs. They see there are resources and support to help them be the best fathers they can for their children.'ť

The second award winner, Armez Coulter of East St. Louis, said by participating with No Father Left Behind, he has been able to add to what he already knew about being a good father and being there for his kids.

'œFor a man, boy or any child to feel left out and behind is something we have to change. Children need to know both parents love them and will do what they can to help them. I am so happy that No Father Left Behind exists,'ť Coulter said.

Coulter hopes more young fathers will check out No Father Left Behind.

'œThey will be surprised how they will be able to talk to other young men who are just like them. They will feel good about themselves, too, when they start to give their children their love and support,'ť he said.

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Source: Belleville News-Democrat, https://bit.ly/3zrrPXd