Dumb bells, sore muscles and sweat

As I write this, I am in pain.

In fact, about two-thirds of my body turns into one big ache if I try to do something drastic and reckless - like, say, standing up from the couch or putting a bill away in a cabinet 12 inches above the floor.

When I signed up to write about and participate in this year's 12-week-long Fittest Loser Challenge, I told the Herald people I couldn't promise to keep to that new dieting plan, which was so different from the way I normally eat. But I promised to do the twice-a-week workouts and the once-a-week boot camps because, I said naively, I actually kind of enjoyed exercising.

But that involved two miscalculations.

First, I am now 64 years old, not a newly minted college grad.

Second, when I used to do pushups and situps and jumping jacks in our living room, or when Patty and I used to swim 20 laps in The Centre of Elgin pool and work out on The Centre's weight machines, I was the only one who decided how much I had to do.

There was no Michelle Jeeninga, my trainer at the Push Fitness torture chamber on Mondays and Wednesdays, to be piling on more and more "reps," and marveling at how I can never do squats right, and constantly correcting my form.

"Dave, what are you doing?" and "Dave, your feet are too close together again" have been heard from Michelle almost daily. Ditto with "Keep your chin up" and "Don't bend your shoulders."

Doing simple old-school situps and pushups and jumping jacks back at Larkin High School in the Beatles era, I never dreamed there could be so many different ways to do calisthenics.

Sweating under Michelle's watchful eye on weekdays and at the hands of various trainers at the weekly boot camps, no two workouts have been the same. In fact we rarely do the same exercise twice.

What has made me so sore right now is that during last Saturday's boot camp we first divided into two-person teams. (My partner was the only FL contestant older than me, 68-year-old Tony Wiszowaty.) While I went outside and ran all the way around the building, Tony did seven pushups, then seven situps, then seven burpees, then repeating that until I returned, panting, from that refreshing (not) run.

Then Tony would run around the building while I did the exercises. That was followed by punching boxer-style with dumb bells while squatting and then making an X shape while holding onto straps from the wall, a bit like a gymnast working on the rings.

At first I felt no pain. But 24 hours later - on Sunday morning - my upper arms and knees both ached mightily.

Yet when I showed up for the Monday workout, Michelle showed no mercy. She had me doing pushups with knees touching elbows (countdown-style first 10 pushups, then 9, then 8, then 7, etc.) alternating with weight lifting - and of course scolding, "Keep that chin open."

This time I didn't have to wait 24 hours for those arms and knees to hurt even more.

This kind of pain hasn't been typical, though. The worst comes after the Saturday boot camps, when we are all working out together. Maybe that's because those four contestants are working harder in their weekday workouts than I am.

The worst came when one boot camp involved some kind of twisting motion. As I slid sideways into the car to go to church the next morning, a searing pain shot through my side. But after 12 hours or so, it stopped doing that. Who really needs to ride in a car, anyway?

And heck, according to a Marine Corps drill instructor who's tougher than even Michelle Jeeninga, "Pain is just weakness leaving the body."

• Dave Gathman is a Daily Herald correspondent. He is undergoing the same physical workouts and nutritional counseling as the Fittest Loser contestants as he writes about their journey.