Grammar Moses: Is it me you dislike or the way I write?

Your exposure to gerunds is probably similar to mine and just as limited. Oversimplified, a gerund is a word that looks like a verb but acts like a noun.

There is a good chance “swimming” is the example you remember. I base this on a statistically invalid sample of three, of course, but work with me here.

Knowing what a gerund is is one thing; knowing how to treat one in a sentence is another.

Sally Schinberg of Des Plaines and Kathy Gilroy of Villa Park let me know I ran afoul of the rules in last week's column when I wrote: “The hyphens are there to scrunch the words together (if you don't mind me using technical language.)”

Sally noted “In that sentence I believe ‘using' is a gerund which requires a possessive modifier, i.e., ‘my' rather than ‘me.'”

That is a doctoral-level grammar catch, Sally and Kathy.

It didn't even occur to me that I was wrong until I stared at it for a full minute — and spent the better part of an hour looking at several books written by people a lot smarter than I.

For those of you wondering, I will skip the comprehensive treatise on the differences between gerunds and participles for now because it is one of the more complicated concepts and the readers' point.

As for whether a gerund takes a possessive modifier, here is an easy way to remember:

In my example, is your possible objection to me or to my use of technical language?

I would hope it's to my language.

I possess the technical language, so it's “my using technical language.”

Condescending? No.

I often write about grammar goofs I hear in everyday conversations and on radio and TV. They grate on me when they're made by people who are paid to know better. But more often they just make me smile.

I don't write about them mockingly. I do so for teaching moments.

I'm not alone.

Former colleague Erin Holmes Brooks last month recounted on Facebook a conversation she had with a store clerk.

“You know it's too warm in here when the pop bottles are condescending,” the clerk told her.

“I wanted to correct her, but the thought of condescending pop bottles was far more intriguing than the concept of condensation,” Erin wrote.

Apostrophe trouble

If you're writing about possession, you use an apostrophe, right?

The obvious joke is that you'd use a crucifix, but I'm getting off track.

Much of the time you wouldn't use an apostrophe with a possessive.

For instance, his, her, our, their and my are all possessives.

Bob's tutu, Suzie's monster truck and General Tso's chicken are all examples of possessives that use apostrophes.

The mistakes I see most often in writing (especially on Facebook, where punctuation takes a holiday) relate to people confusing possessives with contractions — which DO employ apostrophes.

The word you're is not a possessive. It's a contraction for you are.

Your is the possessive.

It's is a contraction for it is.

Its is the possessive.

They're is a contraction for they are.

Their is the possessive.

My tip: Whenever you use an apostrophe, spell out the words to make sure it makes sense.

“Is this the end of you're column?” becomes “Is this the end of you are column?”

That makes no sense, but I hope the rest of the column did.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line.