Career advice to a daughter: Don't do as I do

My daughter is starting to get very interested in reading and writing. Mostly, this is fantastic. She has begun reading quietly to herself on topics that range from the planets to the pope. My husband and I have been the recipients of some heartwarming and hilarious letters. She even writes original stories and started a newspaper with a friend. Recently, she announced that she wants to be a writer when she grows up.

"Oh, but you're interested in math," I replied. "Math and science."

"Yes, but I have stories in my head," she told me.

"But you're so good at math," I insisted. "You love it!"

"I'm good at it, but it's not my favorite," she said.

"Well, maybe it will be later!" I told her. "You never know!" Even as these words came from my mouth, I realized that they were strange. Why was I discouraging her? My child is 7 years old. Who knows what she will be when she grows up? When she told me that she wanted to be a hairdresser/senator, I told her that it sounded great. But I am a professional writer with a successful career. Why would I tell my daughter not to be an artist when I am one?

Society has been led to believe that science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) are where the best career opportunities lie. According to a 2014 article in Business Insider, when 2,537 adults were asked to look at a list of occupations and indicate which ones they would suggest to a child as a future profession, the results were unsurprising. The top four jobs were engineer, doctor, scientist and nurse. Actor was second to last, with almost 60 percent of parents saying that they would actively discourage their children from pursing this career.

For some reason, novelist (my job) did not even appear on the list. But does the fact that there will be more STEM jobs in the future necessarily mean that those jobs are desirable, if the person in question would rather be an artist? Should I encourage my literature-loving daughter to be an engineer simply because it will be easier for her to find employment? On the one hand, unemployment and low wages can cause misery. If she is gifted in math and science, shouldn't I push her to use those talents, to avoid a life of potential financial hardship?

Another piece of my resistance comes from, as my mother put it, "knowing how the sausage is made." We all know how the sausage is made in our jobs. I remember a trip to my father's office when I was about 8 years old. My father was a professor of architecture, and I toyed with one of his miniature buildings while one of his students asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. "I don't know ..." I said. "Maybe an architect?"

"Oh, no," my father said. "Anything but that!"

A 2010 survey by the staffing firm Adecco revealed that only 21 percent of mothers would encourage their child to follow the same career path. The rest would choose a different job or career for their children. Parents want their children to do something easier, and something that pays better, than what they do. Part of this must be that our jobs seem low-paying and/or difficult because we are the ones doing them. According to a 2014 poll by The Conference Board, 52.3 percent of Americans are unhappy at work. A daily diet of social media can lead us to believe that everyone else is more successful and is having more fun at work than we are. But work is hard work, and every career has its challenges.

Many people dream of becoming a writer. They imagine (as I used to) that writers are visited by muses who deliver stories that later become best-selling novels. But as a professional, I know just how much isolation and frustration the career can cause. I dream of becoming a dentist. In my imagination, it's easy and lucrative. You just peer at people's teeth and chatter on about your upcoming vacation while they - wide-mouthed - are forced to listen. Of course, in reality, I'm sure that there is a lot more to it than that, and my dentist probably daydreams about some other, entirely different, career - like nuclear physicist. Apparently, we all think there are better jobs out there, and those are the jobs we want our kids to have.

In the end, I'm not sure that my opinion will matter much, anyway. My daughter's career will be her choice, not mine. I can't tell you how many times I heard that it was nearly impossible to make a living as a writer before I foolishly went off and did just that. After all, sometimes our careers choose us and not the other way around. The fact is that if most future jobs will be in STEM fields, then it makes sense to encourage those fields and to teach them well in school. But children are individuals, not statistics. In the future, some people will make a living in the arts. Whether or not my child will be one of them is up to her - I'll support her, whether she decides to be a writer, a scientist, or a hairdresser/senator.

• Lisa Papademetriou is the author of "A Tale of Highly Unusual Magic" and the Confectionately Yours series, as well as many other books for young readers. You can connect with her via her blog, lisapapa.com, or twitter, @axyfabulous.