Editorial: The family memories fathers create for their children

Two months ago, one of those national surveys that seems to pop up from time to time about almost any conceivable topic popped up to ask 300 people whether they'd celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day if they had to choose between them.

The results were clear: Mom won hands down, with 78 percent of the adult children opting for Mother's Day in the poll commissioned by Visiting Angels, a senior home care agency.

This was a great little story for Mother's Day, and it had to make Moms everywhere feel good.

But what about Dad?

Can't be particularly cheery for him that the kids who took Mom out to an elaborate dinner a month ago might barely be bothered with an obligatory phone call today.

It would be comforting for fathers to be able to rationalize the reasons Mother's Day scored so high on this survey, that perhaps survey participants worried that Mom would take it harder or would make them feel guiltier if they gave her day short shrift.

There was a pinch of that in the findings. But just a pinch. Mostly, the responses seemed to indicate a clear preference for Mom, not just for Mother's Day.

Among the reasons respondents chose Mother's Day: Mom deserves the attention; they have more in common with Mom; Mom deserves something for enduring nine months of pregnancy; Mom's their favorite parent; and Mother's Day seems to be a bigger holiday than Father's Day.

We're not here to debate the findings. Truth be told, we don't even find them particularly surprising, although perhaps the dramatic margin of Mom's victory is.

We're also not here to analyze what's behind these sentiments. Outside of what we witness in our own homes, we're not experts at that sort of thing. We're sure there are forces both cultural and biological at play.

But we are here to say this to all the fathers reading this message: You do matter.

You matter intensely in the lives or your children and in the story of your family, and never take that for granted.

If you do your parenting well, you help mold loving, responsible, self-confident, successful and happy adults out of little children.

You model their perspective of what a father is to be, how an adult male should behave and the values he should espouse.

And you make memories that will live long after you. As the poet Anne Sexton once wrote, "It doesn't matter who my father was. It matters who I remember he was."

Make good memories for your family.

Despite what survey results may claim, your children love you because you do.

Happy Father's Day, one and all.