Different support group started by addict's family

Editor's note: This story originally ran on July 25, 2002 as part of the Daily Herald's "Hidden Scourge: Heroin in the Suburbs" series.

After enduring the pain of watching her grown son spiral into a cycle of drug abuse and recovery, Palatine resident Mary Minton has decided to reach out to those who might be in the same situation.

Minton and her daughter, Melanie, are working to establish a support group for families of drug users between the ages of 18 and 30.

The goal of the group would be to help families cope and learn the difference between loving the person and enabling the addiction. The group would not necessarily focus on showing the addict the road to recovery.

It would serve as a forum where parents and siblings could discuss their fears in an intimate group and learn from each other.

"It affects the family so much. We want to create a serenity in the family," said Melanie Minton, 24.

The first meeting will be held July 31 from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Palatine Public Library, 700 N. North Court in Palatine.

Mary Minton, whose 22-year-old son is currently in a halfway house recovering from a heroin addiction, said at times it's more difficult for families to cope with a young adult using drugs than a teen-ager.

"It's a distinct group from teen-agers," Minton said. "Parents don't have the control, but we still have the love, which makes it very difficult."

She explained teen-agers might try to hide their drug use from family members. But parents still can keep a watchful eye on them in the house and somewhat control where their children go and who they meet.

When a young adult leaves the home, however, there is little more a parent or sibling can do than worry.

"It's turned my life upside down," Melanie Minton said. "I always worried about him hurting himself or someone else hurting him."

Mother and daughter said they have attended meetings of several support groups, but found the settings lacked intimacy and were too structured.

"I want to keep it as a discussion," Melanie Minton said.

Future meetings might include discussions with judges, probation officers or recovering addicts.

The Mintons also say they want to help raise awareness about drug use among their Northwest suburban neighbors.

"Denial among suburban family members is so great," Melanie Minton said. "They think, 'This can't happen to my kid.' "