Victim-impact statement of Jennifer Williams

The following is the edited victim-impact statement of Jennifer Williams, which she read in court.

"I wanted the opportunity to address the court and tell my story. I wanted to explain how the deaths of my mother, father and sister have impacted my life. My life changed on Sept. 29, 2005 - the worst day of my life. That was the day I lost my entire family.

I want to tell you about my family.

My mother, Mary, was the most wonderful person I know. She was a devoted mother and grandmother. I don't know of a better grandmother. My mom was very attached to my three children, especially my oldest daughter, Devin. I was a single parent when I was 21 years old and my mom was there for my daughter and me. Mom helped with baby-sitting, spoiling Devin with clothes and toys. Mom was always there for us to lend a helping hand or a listening ear.

After I got married and had two more children, my mom begged us to move to Illinois because she couldn't bear the thought of not seeing my family all the time. We could not make the move. We did the next best thing: we made a pact that we could never go longer than eight weeks without seeing each other. Before one visit ended, we would already be planning the next one. My mother never missed an important event in my children's lives. My mom never missed a birthday, sporting event, play or recital. She was always there no matter what. I used to call my mom and talk to her about everything. We could talk about my kids, decorating and gardening. I would call her for recipes and to tell her of the milestones in my children's lives. My mom was one of my best friends.

That wonderful relationship was taken away from me, and I will never have that again.

My father, Terry, was my hero. He was someone that I aspired to be like. He was smart, witty and had so much integrity. My dad was empathetic and a great confidante. He always gave sound advice. I want my son, Max, to be just like him. My dad was a devoted father and grandfather. My dad did the nicest things out of the blue. I can remember when we lived in Michigan and I was a single parent. My dad showed up at my apartment with enough groceries to last a month. He knew I struggled financially and did that to help me out. He did it in a way as not to hurt my pride. He told me he was already at the store and just picked up a few things. That was 14 years ago and I still tell that story because it is so sweet. My dad was a wonderful grandfather. He never missed an important event.

This relationship was taken away from me. I will never have that again, just stories to tell.

My sister, Kate, was the best sister. We talked all the time. We talked about everything - marriage, friends, family and childhood stories. Our favorite thing to talk about was famous people. We would talk about who is dating who; who had a baby; we loved that! Kate would buy me subscriptions to People magazine and other tabloids. We also had so much fun shopping together. My sister didn't have any kids of her own, but when it came to mine, she was the best aunt. She spoiled them with clothes and toys. Devin and Kate had such a close relationship. They were like sisters, too. Kate used to send Devin cards in the mail all the time just to remind her how loved she was. When we would go shopping, Devin would pick out things she wanted and I would say no. A few days later, the UPS truck would arrive with those items. We started a tradition of a girls' weekend in New York every year. It was my sister's idea. My mom, sister, Devin and I all went. We only had two of those great weekends. Kate was one of my best friends. She was my maid of honor and godmother to all of my kids.

This relationship has been taken away. I will never have that again.

This past 2ˆ¨ years have been the hardest of my life. My marriage has been affected, friendships tested and relationships have suffered because I have changed. I am not the same person. I get depressed and I don't want to do anything. My weight has fluctuated; my skin is ruined from all the breakouts over the stress this has caused. I couldn't sleep because of the nightmares. I wonder if they suffered. Did my mom know it was Eric? Are they in heaven? These questions keep me up at night and now I have to take something to help me sleep and I probably always will.

I have so many feelings running through my mind. I am so angry at Eric. I am angry that he took my family way from me. I am angry that I had to take care of three estates by myself and I had to put my kids in day care two days a week to talk to insurance companies, lawyers and creditors. I am angry that everyone thinks they know what is best for me and that I should just focus on my husband and children and not dwell in the past. I am angry that I will never know why this happened and why I was spared. I am angry that the best years of Devin's life were taken from her. She has suffered so much. It makes me so mad that she stopped singing and dancing. Devin turned 17 on Feb. 16 and I missed her birthday because of this trial. This is not fair. Whenever I think of giving up because the grief was too overwhelming, I didn't because of my kids. They need me, especially Devin, because she has been so affected.

I now have to live without a family. I don't know how to do that. I know there are adult children who lose their parents, but it is different for me. I had my parents and my sister taken away from me in the worst way possible. There was so much more we had to do! There are so many birthdays, holidays, weddings and vacations that I want my family be a part of. We had a weekend planned in October 2005. My mom and dad were coming to Minnesota to see Devin in her first dance line at a football game and to watch Max play in his first soccer game. We were planning a trip to Disney World. We were going to go in 2006. It would have been the first time for my two youngest kids. My parents never made it to that vacation. My family missed my children's second and third birthday and Devin's sweet 16th. My family missed out on Devin's first prom.

All these things have been taken away from us by Eric.

When I think about Eric being responsible, I am reminded of how good my parents were to him. My parents did so much for Eric. They loved him, supported him and always tried to help him. When he was in trouble at school, my parents would meet with the school officials. When Eric was in trouble at home, they would go to counseling with him to try and help him out. When he was in trouble with the police, my parents would get him a lawyer and attend court with him. They supported him when he wanted to go to golf school, when he wanted to be a CNA or when he was trying to work as a mortgage officer. They let him live under their roof, helping him get on his feet. My parents did everything possible to help Eric. They just wanted him to be a good, healthy and productive adult. Eric murdered the only people in his life that loved him unconditionally, my mother, father and sister, the most wonderful people that I was so fortunate to have called my family."