Well, we didn't want King James anyway
So, Mr. James, you think you'll find more happiness in a city other than Chicago. Well, here are some other things to think about now that you're going to ... Miami?!
George Costanza was wrong. It is you. It's not us.
You're nice and all, LeBron, but our parents really were hoping we'd find a guy who's been to college. (Maybe if you had, you'd know the Bulls presented the best chance to win multiple championships.)
Who needs you? We'll still have the Olym... Oh, forget that one.
In the end, we couldn't get around the idea that you would have been taking playing time away from Luol Deng.
It really wasn't all about winning, was it? Remember, it takes more than three players to win a title. Think about that when D-Wade goes down with a knee injury, your back acts up again and Chris Bosh has to carry the team.
We're glad you won't be wearing Chicago's No. 23 next year. It would be an insult to former Blackhawks enforcer Stu Grimson.
The United Center has banners honoring MJ, Scotty and Coach Phil Jackson hanging from the rafters. Miami's got a banner honoring ex-Heat center Rony Seikaly - who, by the way, is best remembered for marrying a "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit model. Just sayin.'