In Chicago, good grades: $50; a nice gun: invaluable

In Chicago, guns are apparently more valuable than grades.

That is evident from the price list that will be in effect on Saturday, when Mayor Richard M. Daley deploys police officials to pay gun owners to turn in their weapons, "no questions asked."

You will be able to turn in your trusty assault rifle and receive a $100 prepaid MasterCard. That is way better than the $50 pay-for-grades that public school officials offered students last year. And that $50 was for an A, so it actually took some work.

Additional proof that guns are worth more than grades: During the "Paper Project" at 20 Chicago high schools that started in 2008, a B was worth $35 and students were paid $20 for C's.

Compare that to the $75 pre-loaded MasterCards that will be handed over for handguns on Saturday. Even pop guns and replicas will net $10, which on the pay-for-grades scale would be reimbursement for a D-.

The turn-in-your-gun event is the latest bit of misdirection by city hall. They want you to think that gang leaders, bank robbers and criminals are surrendering their weapons and that by Saturday night Chicago will be a safer place.

What is more likely to happen on Saturday night is that doped-up thieves, pickpockets and other miscreants will have a few thousand potential victims walking around with prepaid MasterCards in their pockets.

"At the very time that some cities and states are allowing people to carry concealed weapons on their streets, in Chicago we're working to get all types of guns off our streets," Mayor Daley announced at the Liberation Christian Center, 6810 S. Ashland Ave.

Liberation Center is one of the 22 locations that will be staffed by police on Saturday. Apparently city officials believe that most of the guns are on the South side because that is where 17 of the turn-in locations are located.

Maybe on the North side they should have a baseball bat turn-in, to prevent brutal attacks such as the one on those two young women walking home from a night out. Of course there are those who have suggested that if the women were carrying guns they might have thwarted their purse-snatching attacker.

But concealed carry is not the direction in which Chicago is moving. The mayor wants all guns surrendered and not used - even by law-abiding citizens.

"I ask Chicagoans to turn in their firearms, no questions asked. Every parent, every institution and every person shares in this responsibility," he said.

I don't think the mayor thought out that "institution" comment. For instance, he really wouldn't want an institution such as the U.S. Department of Education to show up with its arsenal of old guns. If they did, City Hall would quickly run out of plastic.

You didn't know the Department of Education had guns?

Not only do they have quite a stockpile of weapons, they just bought some late-model shotguns with all the all the combat trimmings, such as short barrels for concealment and modified sights.

Under the terms of a new contract, the guns were to arrive at the Department of Education's Chicago headquarters on Monday, March 22, in the 14th floor offices of the U.S. Department of Education inspector general.

According to a bid solicitation that was obtained by the ABC 7 I-Team, the department purchased 27 Remington Model 870 pump-action shotguns with 14-inch modified choke barrels. They were custom-made for law enforcement with shorter barrels than allowed for civilian use.

The shotguns are intended to replace an older, malfunctioning arsenal, according to officials, and would have to be compatible with existing combat armor.

An Education Department spokeswoman said that the guns aren't for classroom security, but rather for special agents who work waste and fraud cases involving education funds. The officers have full law enforcement authority and training, sometimes conduct search warrants and make arrests, according to a spokeswoman.

Chicago is the location of the education department's firearm's inventory manager and why the new gun shipment is coming here.

"Please know that in the course of our work, we have arrested individuals with violent criminal histories, including violence against law enforcement officers," she said.

So when was the last time an education department inspector needed to squeeze off a few rounds from the Remington?

Never.

"In our history, we have been fortunate that our agents have not had to discharge their firearms in the line of duty," said the spokeswoman.

But you can't be too careful with those dangerous education fund fraudsters. I'll bet that some crafty pay-for-grades student might even have tried to change his D into a B to steal $35.

• Chuck Goudie, whose column appears each Monday, is the chief investigative reporter at ABC 7 News in Chicago. The views in this column are his own and not those of WLS-TV. He can be reached by e-mail at chuckgoudie@gmail.com and followed at twitter.com/ChuckGoudie