Terror try exposes Backslapping and Personal Admiration Society

The "Mission Accomplished" banner should have taught public officials a few lessons.

When President George W. Bush stood on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln with that now-infamous sign behind him, the date was May 1, 2003. The mission that was deemed to have been accomplished was the Iraq war.

Of course, premature public declarations of praise and thanks didn't start with that debacle and they didn't end there.

Two years later, as Hurricane Katrina victims were hung out to dry by just about every emergency agency; it was Mr. Bush again who heaped praise and thanks on blundering FEMA Director Mike Brown.

"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job," said the president in a now folk-glorious quote.

Membership in the National Backslapping and Personal Admiration Society is not limited to any one political strain - or even to politics.

After a known terror suspect drove an SUV packed with fertilizer bombs to Times Square in New York City and parked it, law enforcement officials heaped praise and thanks on each other for having prevented death and destruction.

There was just one problem.

It was a Times Square T-shirt vendor who actually prevented the attack by noticing smoke coming from the suspiciously parked SUV and calling NYPD.

But in the National Backslapping and Personal Admiration Society, truth is no defense when it comes to seizing the spotlight.

It doesn't even matter that the terrorist had bought the wrong kind of fertilizer, a type that won't explode.

And forget about the fact that the FBI, hot on the trail of the suspect, lost him for awhile and was seconds from letting him leave the country on a jetliner jammed with other travelers.

The Golden Rule of the National Backslapping and Personal Admiration Society is this: Do Unto Others, But Do Unto Yourself First.

That is why the wall of dark suits appeared at a Washington, D.C., news conference last week to glad-hand and offer each other thanks and praise for jobs well done and what Attorney General Eric Holder called "exemplary investigative efforts."

Even though what authorities knew of the plot was still thin, Holder managed to give this praiseworthy play-by-play: "Over the last two days, men and women from the FBI, the department's National Security Division, and U.S. Attorneys offices worked with NYPD, DHS, and state and local partners to doggedly track the evidence in this case. The quick action from FBI agents was crucial to alerting Customs and Border Protection agents, who ultimately arrested him late last night at JFK airport as he was attempting to flee the country."

Then the FBI thanked the AG and DHS. DHS thanked the NYPD. NYPD thanked all of the above - including the NYPD and the AG - and turned it back to AG Holder, who continued: "These agents and prosecutors are the backbone of our national security efforts - many of them doing their jobs outside the spotlight of the media," Holder said in the glare of the TV lights. "I want to commend them for their results in this case, and their unwavering commitment to their jobs."

Are you complimented and thanked like that for doing what you are paid to do?

At some point somebody at the news conference did mention how nice it was that the T-shirt vendor was so vigilant. Next question?

The Chicago chapter of the National Backslapping and Personal Admiration Society has a unique way of heaping thanks and praise. Instead of doing it verbally, where the words evaporate, you put your name on a public sign.

Think "Gov. Rod Blagojevich" on the green tollway signs; "Gov. George Ryan" on the Hillside Strangler signs; "Mayor Richard Daley" all over the "Welcome to Chicago" signs; and various politicos' names plastered on billboards, public vehicles and offices - all of which have to be changed every time one of them loses - or goes to jail.

And now, President Barack Obama, in a nod to his Chicago political roots, has become the Grand Gizzard of the National Backslapping and Personal Admiration Society.

In downtown Chicago, where stimulus money is apparently floating from the jet stream, there are rehab projects underway at the Dirksen and Kluczynski federal buildings.

Already erected are tasteless signs, which would make original building architect Mies van der Rohe cringe. In the upper right hand section of each sign, in perfect Chicago political fashion, is the name: PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA.

The name is just there, printed and posted as if Mr. Obama might be seen on the job site wearing a hard hat or rolling out some blue prints on a 4-by-4 hood.

Maybe Mr. Obama will be there for the dedication of his project when the mission is accomplished.

• Chuck Goudie, whose column appears each Monday, is the chief investigative reporter at ABC7 News in Chicago. The views in this column are his own and not those of WLS-TV. He can be reached by e-mail at chuckgoudie@gmail.com and followed at twitter.com/ChuckGoudie