'W.E.' a muddled mess

<b>Reel Life review: 'W.E.'</b>

"You have no idea how hard it is to live out the greatest romance of the century!" Wallis Simpson tells her namesake, Wallis "Wally" Winthrop of New York City.

And I'm still not sure after watching Madonna's second directorial effort "W.E.," an ambitious but disastrously muddled attempt to view the Wallis Simpson/King Edward romance from a woman's perspective, then filter that 1930s experience through more contemporary New York sympathies in 1998.

"W.E." laments that everyone knows how much the king sacrificed to be with the twice-divorced American woman he loved (his throne). But what did Wallis gave up to make the relationship work?

Wally (Abbie Cornish) knows. A physically and emotionally abused wife of a brutal husband - just as Simpson had been - Wally becomes obsessed with the upcoming auction of the estate of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor (as Edward and Simpson were later titled).

She experiences chronologically shifted flashbacks showing the relationship between Simpson (a portrait of subtle self-confidence by a charismatic Andrea Riseborough) and Edward (played by James D'Arcy as a cadaver with a British accent). The one thing missing: What made Simpson so special that Edward would vacate his throne?

To be charitable, Madonna's "W.E." might have worked better as a less-literal stage play with its feeble flights of imagination that evolve into ridiculous physical meetings between the era-challenged Simpson and Wally.

"Get a life!" Simpson shouts at Wally after slapping her face. But the wishy-washy, milquetoast Wally likes living Simpson's life, and even though she sees the possibility of romance with a Russian intellectual (Oscar Isaac) moonlighting as an auction security guard, Wally remains tethered to her historic fixation with Simpson.

I'm not sure who else could have directed this pointless and frustrating movie to take advantage of its unrealized, ripe comic potential: Ken Russell? Or Woody Allen?

"W.E." opens at the Webster Place theaters in Chicago. Rated R for language, nudity and violence. 114 minutes. ★ ½

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'Chronicle' awesome?</b>

The science-fiction drama "Chronicle" earned the highest box office last weekend with $22 million edging out "The Woman in Black" with $21 million. Does that make "Chronicle" awesome? Let's ask the actors, who said the following lines of dialogue during the movie:

"Awesome! Awesome!" Ashley Hinshaw shouts.

"You are awesome!" Alex Russell says.

"It's awesome!" Michael B. Jordan says.

"That was awesome!" Russell says.

"That was awesome!" Jordan screeches.

"That is awesome!" Russell says.

"That was awesome!" Jordan screeches, again.

Maybe someone should suggest to screenwriter Max Landis he visit thesaurus.com for some "awesome" synonyms.

<b>Eat my Oscar shorts</b>

Yes, you can watch the shorts nominated for Academy Awards in both live-action and animated categories starting this weekend at the Century Centre Cinema in Chicago.

Of the five live-action shorts, the two I like the best are Ireland's "Pentecost" (about how the Catholic Church has adopted sports culture to be relevant) and the German/Indian production "Raju," about a couple who adopt an Indian boy and make a terrible discovery.

Two of the five animated shorts stand out: Pixar's "La Luna" (about three generations of caretakers responsible for keeping the moon looking good) and "The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore" (a divinely charming fantasy that left me weepy).

Good luck at the Oscars, shorts!

<b>'E.T.' to benefit Hope</b>

A special big-screen showing of Steven Spielberg's "E.T. - The Extra-Terrestrial" to benefit the Noah's Hope charity will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday, Feb. 11, at the Tivoli Theater, 5021 Highland Ave., Downers Grove. Tickets cost $4 with proceeds going to Noah's Hope, established to combat a terminal genetic disorder called LINCL-Batten disease. Go to classiccinemas.com for details.

<b>Composing 'Amadeus'</b>

Milos Forman's Oscar-winning 1984 historical drama "Amadeus" (★ ★ ★ ★ ) comes to the York Theater, 150 N. York Road, Elmhurst, for one show at 1 p.m. Sunday. The event is sponsored by the Elmhurst Symphony Orchestra in advance of its Sunday, Feb. 26, Mozart Requiem at the Elmhurst Christian Reformed Church. Tickets cost $5. Go to elmhurstsymphony.org.

<b>Guy & Madeline return</b>

The After Hours Film Society presents Damien Chazelle's "Guy & Madeline on a Park Bench," 7:30 p.m. Monday, Feb. 13, at the Tivoli Theater, 5021 Highland Ave., Downers Grove. Tickets cost $9 ($5 for members). Go to afterhoursfilmsociety.com.

Daily Herald film critic Dann Gire's column runs Fridays in Time out!