Domestic violence survivors show others they’re loved on Valentine’s Day

For domestic violence survivor Sarah McClarey, the best Valentine’s Day came in 2006 when she was finally single.

She remembers the year before when she didn’t acknowledge her husband coming home. An argument escalated into an attack that left her face cut with a pocketknife and head drenched from being forced into the toilet.

“I just remember looking in the mirror at the blood and toilet water and thinking it was so pathetic,” McClarey said. “The image is frozen in my mind.”

McClarey found the strength to leave and took shelter at the Palatine-based WINGS domestic violence agency’s safe house in the Northwest suburbs. When Feb. 14 rolled around again, she saw the day as a reason to celebrate.

“I thought, ‘I’m not going to get beat up today,’ so I went and bought myself flowers,” McClarey said. “I was so happy because I was free.”

That tradition carried on for a few years before McClarey decided to show other survivors on Valentine’s Day that they too are loved.

This year’s effort is the most ambitious one yet, with Operation Shelter Cupid raising enough money to surprise 70 survivors and single moms with a dozen roses.

In addition to the bouquets, the women — who are utilizing services at the WINGS safe house, transitional housing, Family Shelter Services and Fellowship Housing — will receive gifts such as “super hero suckers,” handmade necklaces and flower hair pins. Everyone also will receive a framed picture that includes an inspirational message and a travel mug adorned with the words “You are loved.”

“Women who have been abused, especially in the immediate aftermath, often have a very low self-worth,” McClarey said. “We’re saying you’re valued. You’re beautiful. We love you.”When McClarey first carried out the idea on her own in 2010, she could only afford three roses for a handful of women. She soon founded the WINGS Alumni Association, which has adopted the project and solicited area businesses, individuals and college and church groups to help.Cindy Rodriguez, a fellow graduate of the WINGS program, said she remembered women last year stared in disbelief at the flowers before breaking down in tears.#147;They#146;re used to hearing how ugly and worthless they are, so the littlest gesture and inspirational words can mean so much,#148; Rodriguez said.To make a tax-deductible donation to Operation Shelter Cupid or WINGS, visit wingsprogram.com or mail cards and checks to Wings Alumni Association, P.O. Box 68132, Schaumburg, IL, 60168.