Former victims pay it forward

George Thorne gets choked up when he talks about all of the thoughtful and generous things people did for him after his Carpentersville home burned down Sept. 13.

Since he didn't have any homeowners insurance, he agonized over where he and his family were going to live, how he was going to pay for the clean up and the replacement of their possessions.

As word spread about his situation, people many of them strangers stepped up to help him with donations of money and services. Soon, he had a place to live, a little money for necessities, and an offer from Rossi Construction to clean up the house's charred remains.

“When you get a phone call and someone says, ‘I'll take care of it.' I can't even describe it. It takes such a load off of you,” he said. “I'm kind of an autonomous guy ... but this has restored my faith in a lot of things. I don't know half these people (who have helped me), but my heartfelt thanks go out to them. Words just can't say how I feel.”

Rather than use words, Thorne is expressing his thanks through actions. He is opening a community supply storage space in Carpentersville where people can donate their extra household goods. Next time there's a tragedy in the community, those in need can just go to the storage space for items to help them get back on their feet. Thorne plans to put the duplicate items he received in the space, donated by Simply Storage in Carpentersville, including four TVs and three microwaves. Carpentersville Trustee Judy Sigwalt is donating an entire kitchen, including appliances and dishes.

“A lot of good can come out of this,” she said.

This “pay it forward” reaction is common among people who have unexpectedly found themselves in need and experienced the humbling kindness of others.

Jennifer Murphy-Cazares of Arlington Heights, whose sister's family was involved in a murder-suicide in June 2009, plans to create the Garrett Foundation in memory of her 11-year-old nephew Garrett Finnerty, one of the three family members who died.

The foundation would organize a network of resources to help people in times of crisis, such as the loss of a parent, much the way the community helped her family.

Barbara Thomas of Brookfield created the Heal With Love Foundation after donating a kidney to one of her tenants and then struggling to pay her bills during the six weeks off work while she recovered.

Had it not been for her network of family and friends, Thomas said her kidney donation could have resulted in personal financial disaster.

“I live paycheck to paycheck,” Thomas said. “If you're giving away your organ to help another person, you shouldn't be penalized for it. I'm really blessed that I have a network (to help me), but not everybody does.”

Heal With Love Foundation raises money to help kidney donors pay their expenses during the recovery period, which often isn't covered by vacation and sick time from work.

“If it was a problem for me, it must be a problem for a lot of other people, too,” Thomas said. “Raising money in this economic climate is a bit of an uphill struggle, especially when no one has heard of you before, but I have determination and tenacity as well as a strong belief in the cause.”

That determination helped her raise $3,500 for the foundation at an Oct. 17 fundraiser, which featured raffles and performances by six bands including Toby & The Trimmers, Marty “Big Dog” Mercer, and Seitz and Sounds.

The kindness of strangers

It's common for friends and neighbors to rally around people following a tragedy, but sometimes it's the kindness of strangers that is the most surprising and touching to victims.

“It restores hope,” said Deborah Nelson, creator of the Random Acts of Kindness Club of Arlington Heights, who was the recipient of good will during some personal struggles five years ago. “You think, ‘I don't even know this person, and she cares about me.'” That was the case with the Jedd family of Prospect Heights. In June, 3-year-old Alex Jedd died in a fire in his home. His father, Mark Jedd, was able to rescue Alex's 1-year-old sister, Rhianna, but nearly died trying to find and save Alex.

A few days after the fire, Mark was in a coma, his kidneys were failing, and he was barely clinging to life. That's when a woman and her toddler daughter rang the doorbell of Mark Jedd's fiance, Brittany Meyer. After expressing her condolences, the stranger standing on the doorstep said something that left Meyer speechless: she offered to donate one of her kidneys to Mark.

It was one of many generous acts of kindness by strangers that followed the Jedd family's tragedy. The owner of a new sandwich shop in Streamwood put out a collection can beneath a Daily Herald story about Mark Jedd, collecting $80 in change for the Jedd Family Fund. CJ Latek, 9, of Northbrook, had his birthday party guests bring gifts for 1-year-old Rhianna Jedd, instead of gifts for him, even though the family has no connection to the Jedds.

On Oct. 9, Patrick Whalen, a former high school classmate of Mark Jedd's who hasn't talked to him in “at least a decade,” organized a fundraiser for the family fund at Mark's House of Rock ‘N Roll in Wheeling.

“You just feel like you should do something,” said Whalen, of Wheeling. “Anytime someone loses a child, it's the worst nightmare scenario.”

Nelson said it is embarrassing to accept help from strangers, but sometimes things happen beyond your control and you are forced to rely on others. When people don't judge each other, and treat each other with kindness, it can change lives. It doesn't have to mean giving people money; it can be a kind note, or a few hours of your time helping someone, Nelson said.

“There's a high you experience from being kind. It's true,” says Nelson, whose Random Acts of Kindness Club now has more than 194 “kind souls” as members. “It's a win-win for both people.”