Multiple generations now often live under one roof

Sometimes there is a silver lining to a dark cloud. In this case, the dark cloud is the current economic situation.

And for a growing number of families, the silver lining is the fact that they are reconnecting with their families through living together to cope with the economy. And those who have chosen this option are finding that there are other benefits to this living arrangement, too.

"You know, before World War II, this is how many families lived," said Gail Niermeyer, an agent with Coldwell Banker Naperville's 75th Street office.

"I am seeing a lot more buyers and sellers who are interested in selling individual homes and buying a large home that can accommodate several generations," she said. "I have dealt with four of these transactions in the last year."

While saving money is certainly an incentive for buying a home that accommodates multiple generations, the benefits go beyond just financial reasons, said Fran Broude, president and chief operating officer of Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage.

"With two or three generations living under one roof, families often experience more flexible schedules, quality time with one another and can better juggle child care and eldercare," Broude said.

A survey of Coldwell Banker Realtors conducted in January revealed that finances are the No. 1 reason why buyers or sellers are moving into a house with other generations of their family. The next most prevalent reason was health care issues. Only 6 percent cited a strong family bond as the main factor.

"Families are trying to combine their resources because we see seniors who are fearful of moving into a retirement community, college graduates who can't find a job and just married couples who lose one or both jobs and have to move back in with their parents," Niermeyer said.

Cindy Carlson, another Coldwell Banker Naperville agent, agreed.

"The last couple of years I would say that 15 to 20 percent of the people I have worked with are moving into a multigenerational living arrangement.

"Most of my multigenerational clients have felt good about being able to help out their family members," she added. "It is certainly not viewed as a shameful or a doom-and-gloom thing."

In fact, the Pew Research Center released a report last month which showed that as of 2008, a record 49 million Americans lived in a home that contained at least three generations.

"This represents a significant trend reversal," the report said. "Starting right after World War II, the extended family household fell out of favor with the American public. In 1940, about a quarter of the population lived in one; by 1980, just 12 percent did."

But the multigenerational living phenomenon is increasing again (currently 16.1 percent of the population) thanks to children marrying later and living at home with parents to save money; more immigrants coming here from Latin America and Asia where multigenerational living is the norm; and the current economy, the report said.

Mimi and Matt Mansfield built a 5,000-square-foot house for themselves and their four children in Deerfield in 2008. Not long afterward, in June 2009, Mimi's parents put their Lake Forest home of 38 years on the market because of her father's failing health and because of the older couple's financial difficulties.

Months later with no offers on the Lake Forest home and money becoming increasingly tight, Sheila and Allan Minster, Mimi's retired parents, moved into a suite the Mansfields created for them in their English basement.

"They gave us their guest bedroom-bathroom suite in the basement, constructed us a big storage closet/laundry room and turned their pool room into a sitting room for us," Sheila Minster said. "We also brought the chair glider from our old house so that my husband can get up and down the stairs.

"This took lots of pressure off us. We thought it would be temporary, but now I am liking it so much I think we will stay," Minster said. "And we are getting to see much more of all of our grandchildren."

"It is going much better than we thought it would," Mimi Mansfield said.

The stay-at-home mom said the biggest difference is that her house is now always busy and she feels as if she can never be alone anymore, between her parents, the children and her husband, a Web designer, who works from home.

But the grandparents and grandchildren have become much closer living under one roof, and that has been great.

"They all wrote letters to my parents for Hanukkah, inviting them to come live with us," she recalled.

The challenges are ones she didn't anticipate. Their pantry, refrigerator and freezer are all constantly packed. Her parents' wine bottles are fighting for space with her children's juice boxes. And the children had to give up their basement playroom to make room for a sitting room for grandma and grandpa. They are also relocating all of the bicycles and outside toys to clear out a bay of their garage for another car.

But those are minor inconveniences, Mansfield said.

Collins Clyburn and his family recently moved to Naperville from Woodlands, Texas, and they moved Clyburn's 84-year-old mother-in-law in with them. She had previously lived in a senior community in Texas, but when they gave her a choice of living with them or moving to another senior community here, she chose to live with them.

About the same time the Clyburns were moving north, their son was graduating from college and he decided to move home with his wife and twin 1-year-old sons until he found an engineering job.

The extended family purchased a five-bedroom short sale home in downtown Naperville and moved in last month.

"It has been an absolute blessing," Clyburn said. "Those 1-year-olds make lots of excitement in a house. I hope they decide to stay for a while."

"You know, this is the way families used to live," he added. "Family is meant to step forward and help one another. I am retired and my daughter-in-law is a student, so I am happy to help with the children. And it just makes sense for Baby Boomers like my wife and I to help our elderly parents by inviting them to live with us."

Rosemary Marlovits was widowed in 2004, but she continued to live in the family home in Naperville until a few years ago. Her son and daughter-in-law lived across the street, so it was a comfortable situation.

But when Marlovits decided to look at a local retirement community, her son approached her with a different option.

"He suggested that we pool our money to buy a larger house in Oswego," she recalled. "It was for both economic and health reasons. I am about to turn 70 and while I am very self-sufficient, I have had a number of health problems."

So Marlovits agreed to the proposal and both houses were listed in 2007. They then contracted to buy a new house with a large English basement at the Churchill Club in Oswego.

When the house was ready, Marlovits had some contractors she knew build out the basement to her specifications. She now has a bedroom, kitchen, dining room, parlor, bathroom, laundry room and storage area. The apartment also features a fireplace and built-in bookcases. Rosemary has a chair lift on the stairs and use of half of the garage for her car.

"I believe that every woman should have her own kitchen, so I have one downstairs," Marlovits said. "Sometimes I eat dinner with my son and his family and sometimes I don't. My grandchildren knock on my door and ask permission to come down and see me.

"So we each have our own privacy. I have even had my lady friends over to play cards and I had my son's family and my daughter's family to my apartment for Easter dinner," she added.

"Family is very important and you have to stay close and help each other," Marlovits explained. "The whole arrangement has been a blessing. There has been a lot of give and take, of course. We don't always agree, but that's OK."

Marlovits is also happy to watch her youngest granddaughter when her daughter-in-law is shopping or shuttling the other two children to activities and she is also happy to pay some of the utilities and help with groceries, while her son handles the mortgage and other bills.

"We pitch in and help each other. That is what family is for," she asserted.

Carlson, their Realtor, calls Marlovits and her family the perfect role models for how to successfully handle a multigenerational household.

"They are a great family that is there to help each other and Rosemary has a beautiful apartment. When you are in it you don't even notice you are in a basement."

Coldwell Banker President Broude suggested that anyone considering a multigenerational housing arrangement consult with family members and a Realtor first.

"Talk to everyone involved and determine how comfortable the family members are about sharing bathrooms, office space or common areas and let that guide your search," she advised. "All of these topics are incredibly important in finding the right kind of home to fit the family."

She further suggested that extended families purchasing a home together should consider signing a written contract outlining everything from finances to chores and child care. Each family should assess their situation individually and find a plan that works best for them.