Can I ever fully be African American?

The Daily Herald asked me at the beginning of February, Black History Month, to share some thoughts about being a Black woman in America. Over these last few weeks of complete submission and thought as to what I could say, I was thrust into an emotional conundrum that has left me physically, emotionally and mentally drained.

It's unbelievable that at this time, here in these United States Of America, the discussion taking place is the need to finally put a woman of African descent on the Supreme Court.

Usually in such situations, different groups offer up all kinds of issues that may or may not have happened in these nominees' lives. But I can comfortably say that none have been challenged regarding their intellect, nor overall qualifications, considering they've already attained status of currently serving as judges.

In my 56 years of life, this and even more horrifically disturbing events have and are still taking place. In particular, that Black men, women and children are still dying, often at the hands of white Americans, ultimately being cheated out of full flourishing lives.

All because of an unyielding, unquenchable and engrained thirst that is American racism.

I decided to review two similar columns published on race issues in the last two years. Both addressed some of the same issues.

Both expressed hope, and as always, extended an olive branch to others who agree to become allies to our community in combating racism and the excruciating harm it has caused Black people.

Though America hungers for our talents, our music and even our swag, it continues to spit in the faces of the creators engineering such a beloved culture. In every aspect of existence, the African people have been the catalyst for some of the most innovative philosophers, scientists, and educators - i.e., the great pyramids are ever standing on Mother Africa to this day, and it's still a mystery as to how it was done.

Even though some have sought to give credit to aliens from outer space, why not give credit to the African people?

Alas, nothing has changed, besides the rolling back of gains made during the Civil Rights era in the '60s and '70s. Unfortunately the pain, degradation, and acts of destroying Black communities and families has gotten worse.

Black wealth took a tremendous hit during the Obama presidency, not to mention his total abandonment of anything that could bring healing to the Black community.

So, what now? I'm sure some will find my thoughts to be extremely pessimistic.

Again, I ask, what now? What more can black people do, show, say?

What more can we do to finally be given full American status, our citizenship? Born and raised in America and are the surviving descendants of enslaved Africans, we are just as much American as apple pie.

If the Constitution really does apply to all Americans, then why are there still two Americas?

For some reason, it seems unfathomable for America's federal government, as well as America's white citizens, to agree to immediately seek reparations for the Black community.

So if not now, when?

Is there a possible remedy? If there is such a disdain and mistrust of having Black people here, then perhaps the nation should at least make provisions for those who seek to connect and explore opportunities of relocating to Africa. We've petitioned the courts, boycotted and protested as the world looked on. We have been beaten, yet successfully assimilated to American standards. Something that was never ours, to only be murdered in the streets.

In my 56 years here in America, one thing that has been made particularly clear to American descendants of enslaved Africans is that America has never been home to those who were enslaved.

Unfortunately, time seems to show that it may never be.

• LeJewel K. Crigler is a domestic engineer, home schooler and member of the Daily Herald Editorial Board's advisory Sounding Board. She chairs the Elgin Community Task Force on Policing and attends the Elgin Leadership Academy.