Holiday birthdays offer a chance for extra celebration
I think holiday birthdays are wonderful.
Yes, it might mean as a child that you were competing with a big holiday - and thus felt a little squeezed out or even shortchanged. And maybe you feel the same now as adults. But many families are good at separating celebrations and making sure you get a proper birthday party and gifts.
As many know, I believe that holidays, big and small, should be recognized and celebrated. And this is also important when bereaved, or for a grieving friend or relative. Continuity is important, and it's another good chance to show you care, even if you do something low-key, but special. Or something for yourself. Not just let the day slip by.
My dear sister-in-law Joni has a Halloween birthday. That's a fun one. For many years she has given a Halloween party for about eight or 10 of her best women friends to celebrate Halloween and her birthday, all in costume. They usually take a group photo preserving the sight of wizards, goblins, witches and all manner of cute animal or character costumes. Now that's the spirit!
My father was born on Christmas Eve, Dec 24. It added a lot to the overall Christmas season, with a special family dinner party and birthday gifts just for him.
My granddaughter, Irit, and I were both born on May 1, so May Day or international labor day, depending on if you live here or abroad, which never interfered with birthdays. And my sister, Mary, was born on May 2, so almost two May baskets in the family.
I have a friend whose birthday is Valentine's Day. That's sweet. And I'm sure he always has a happy birthday. Full of love and treats or special activities.
My brother Rex was born Sept. 6, which often hits the U.S. Labor Day, or very near it. My brother Nic and mother were born mid-April, so it was Easter season.
The exact day of some holidays move around so that's a bit tricky when it comes to birthdays. Some holidays vary in date by a couple days, or even weeks, so it's hit and miss. And even birthdays close to a major holiday could be complicated for the family and for the birthday person.
I don't know anyone born on St. Patrick's Day, nor July Fourth, Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve or Day, nor many other holidays, but I'm sure they are out there.
The point is: Holiday birthdays can be lots of fun and made special by the season. I realize not everyone likes having a birthday close to a major holiday, because it's such a busy time and the birthday may seem to get lost in all the other activities and responsibilities. But we can make an effort to remember and celebrate. And this is also important in grief, as odd as it sounds. Birthdays and all holidays provide an annual calendar of anchors in daily life that help us.
• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.