The conversation I have with my son on Black Lives Matter

I am a father of three white children who are adults now. I also have a 14-year old African American/Asian-American teenager who I raise as my own son.

My adult children love him as a brother and he loves them as sisters. He is a straight-a student and is very respectful to his entire family. We live in a predominantly white neighborhood where he thrives and does well with his peers. Here's some of the advice I give him:

• Respect all people.

• Police are your friend.

• Study hard and do well in school.

• Pray to God for what you have, not what you don't have.

• Obey your parents and persons in authority.

• You will be a leader. Lead by what you do, not what you say.

I also tell him that throughout history poor people found ways to make sure their children had better lives than themselves. Education, family time, and the Golden Rule were good starters for these future generations. Having your children do better than the prior generation was part of the American dream. It was considered success. I expect him to do the same for his children.

I tell him in response to blacks being killed by police that there are more whites shot by police than blacks. We discuss that there is a higher percentage of blacks shot because they only represent about 15 percent of the population compared to whites that represent approximately 70 percent.

We discuss that there may be valid reasons why there is a higher percentage of blacks shot by police officers. We discuss the fact that black people in some areas of the country commit a higher percentage of violent crimes, which gives black people more exposure to police officers than other races. A good example of this would be the South Side of Chicago, where there are more people killed in the last 10 years than American soldiers in both the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. That's a significant fact, isn't it?

While discussing the above, we discuss the Black Lives Matter group, where they are more interested in a couple of bad cops than, as one example, the approximately 4,000 black lives being killed the last eight years mostly by black people in Chicago. I ask my teenager if the Black Lives Matter group would get more traction with all of America if they would focus on, let's say, the South Side of Chicago. In other words, why would the BLM march on Michigan Avenue, instead of the South Side of Chicago?

Because they would have to admit it's a black issue, too, not just a white issue. Actually, it's an American issue. I mention to him you could always find a bad apple in any organization, including the police department, but to represent the police department as hunting down black people, or a major factor in what has a negative effect to a black person's progress in America is ridiculous.

Parenting and respect for authority comes to mind.

I will not pander to my teenage son or to any other person who happens to be from a different ethnicity, color, religion, etc. Pandering in my eyes is racism. I will raise him to understand that we are all Americans and we will judge people on their own behavior, not the color of their skin.

One last point, I was pulled over by a police officer the other night for not using my turn signal while changing lanes after making a right hand turn. I thought it was petty that he stopped me, but after being pulled over, I rolled down my window, put my hands on my steering wheel, and waited for the police officer to come to my door. I listened and obeyed everything he asked me to do. I'm going to make a prediction. If every citizen does what I did while being stopped by a police officer, there will not be an escalation of the situation and there will be a minuscule likelihood that a gun will be needed by police. Get it?

Michael Fuechtmann, of Roselle, is a volunteer federal mediator and a former school board member for Keeneyville Elementary School District 20.