My kitties' birthday is a reminder that pets are family

The first of September was my kitties' 11th birthday. Oh, what does that have to do with anything?

Well, it's a reminder that some of us, and especially if we have a beloved or dear friend who has died, rely a lot on our pets. For many of us, our pets are our day-to-day buddies. And they are not just pets, but they are members of the family. Mine certainly are.

So on Sept. 1, it was a birthday celebration around here with treats and gifts. And guess what? The kitties knew it was a special day and enjoyed their gifts, and were especially playful.

And then on Labor Day, who was here to celebrate? My kitties. They got some choice tidbits and made the day nicer. They get gifts for Christmas and a new toy on Halloween, and on and on— and special morsels to eat on all holidays.

All this reminds me how important our furry friends are to us. Now is this silly or what? No, it isn't. Here's where an open mind comes into play. Of course, not everyone has pets or spends their time spoiling them or having fun with them — but many do. A huge number of U.S. households have a cat or dog, or several of them.

As many know, I have two. And that's plenty for me. Because if you want nice and affectionate pets, it takes quite a bit of time and expense. You must be interested and motivated.

The basic formula is:

● A safe and comfortable place to live and sleep.

● Some interesting things to do: toys, play, windows, etc.

● High quality food.

● Good health care.

● Positive reinforcement.

One also needs knowledge of cat or dog behavior and communication. And take time to teach them what they need to know to be a positive member of the household. There are lots of books and friends to help, and your vet is a great resource, too. Both cats and dogs can learn the meaning of lots of words and human gestures, tones of voice and daily routines.

I have friends who have missed meetings or parties because they stayed home taking care of a sick pet, and people who have missed trips because they have no one to take care of their cats or dogs. Travel requires a cat or dog sitter to come in daily to feed and take care of these loved pets. So there is some expense and logistics. Some dogs go to a doggie “hotel” – also an expense. But cats really have to stay in their home environment. They really can't be put in kennels; it's too traumatizing for them. If one travels a lot, it's usually quite difficult to have pets.

My nephew's dear cat, Tyra, died two weeks ago, and it's a very big blow. She was almost 18, and they were very attached to each other. They had been through a lot together, and she was a beautiful cat with big polydactyl paws. He went on a long camping trip with his dog to try to start coping with grief, to seek some peace and to think.

I've never personally had to face the death of a pet since these two are my first. But I know it's very hard.

The point is, this is all part of having pets. But I personally cannot imagine life without my kitty buddies. And it was lots of fun watching them play with their birthday packages - they could smell the catnip toys right through the birthday paper!

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.