Elgin church to tackle #MeToo and domestic violence
How do you talk about domestic violence with your fellow church members? What can church leaders do to encourage victims to come forward and get help?
Those are among the topics of "#MeToo & the Church," an event open to the public from 9:30 a.m. to noon Saturday at Second Baptist Church of Elgin, 1280 Summit St., Elgin.
Among the organizers is LaTasha Unseld, a Schaumburg woman who was brutally assaulted by her partner in 2014. She's now a domestic violence victim advocate and member of the church ministry Standing Against Abuse for Everyone, or SAFE.
"This year, in light of the #MeToo movement, we decided to go with that topic," Unseld said. "We wanted to educate the leaders of the church, not just the people."
Church communities often feel like families, so it can be especially difficult to talk about, or recognize, domestic violence when the abuser is a church member or leader widely regarded as a good person, said Ruth Peterson, a domestic violence community educator with the Community Crisis Center in Elgin. Peterson will be the keynote speaker Saturday.
"We don't deal with the reality that somebody is being abused. Instead, we want to say, 'Nice people don't do this. You're a nice person, so it's not happening,'" she said.
A total of 37 percent of Protestant pastors were aware in 2016 of an adult in their church who experienced domestic or sexual violence in the last three years, but only 52 percent of churches had a specific plan or procedures about how to respond if someone discloses domestic violence, Peterson said, citing data from LifeWay Research.
"Because perpetrators often hide behind religion," Peterson said, "there is also the danger in a church that the answer will be, 'You need to go back and pray about this.'"
The key is to educate people to spot the signs, often subtle, of domestic violence, she said.
They can be obvious, such as long sleeves in summer to hide bruises. But they can be subtle, too, such as when someone consistently fails to show up for appointments due to a controlling partner who picks well-timed fights that prevent the person from leaving the house, she said.
"If they see something that looks wrong, go up to that person and say, 'Are you OK?'" Peterson said. "So often we see things and we get that gut feeling ... and we don't act on it, because we don't want to interfere with someone's life."
"The other thing is," Peterson said, "believe them. If someone tells you something is happening, believe them."
Second Baptist Church of Elgin is committed to spreading awareness with the yearly event, and Pastor Nathaniel Edmond gives a topical sermon every October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Unseld said.
More churches need to follow suit, she said.
"When we are planning this and I go to FedEx or UPS and get copies made (of flyers), the first thing people will say is, 'Oh, my church doesn't talk about that.' And I will say, 'Well, you're in the wrong church.'"