Letter: We must learn to reject all-or-nothing thinking

Children think in black-and-white terms because of their lack of experience and lack of cognitive development. Many a parent has heard, "Everyone else is going!" as their child's plea for their parent's permission to attend some event. Many of those parents who then ask the child, "Is Tom [or Dick or Harry] going?" get the response, "No." Then the parent [hopefully] says, "Well then, not 'everyone' is going!" These parents are teaching their children to eliminate the all-or-nothing thinking common to childhood.

Unfortunately, many adults did not learn this lesson while growing up. I am an educational and clinical psychologist. I have to teach many of my adult clients the lessons 1, that everyone is different from everyone else because each person is a product of his or her cumulatively different life experiences; 2, that reality is complex, not simplistic; and 3, that there are "99 shades of gray between black & white" (not 50 Shades of Gray as the book title conveys).

Our thinking and speech need to reflect those realities. Unfortunately, in the past 40-plus years, American culture and politics has, instead, grown increasingly simplistic, conveying viewpoints that are "either/or," "right/wrong."

Until our leaders in many fields and in social media emphasize and demonstrate the complexity of situations and viewpoints, many citizens will continue in their childish black-and- white thinking.

Jean M. Alberti

Glen Ellyn