Gender reality trumps ideology

Male and female aren't categories we invented. They're rooted in reality, and they're the basis of how every human society has organized itself — marriage, family, sports, medicine, safety, even grammar. Civilization is built on the family, and the family is built on a real, observable biological difference that shapes reproduction, physiology, psychology, and a great deal of our social structure besides. We can't wish that away simply because it's inconvenient for a modern ideology.

Someone might say, “Nobody's asking you to deny biology, just to respect identity.” But that's not really what's happening. We're being asked to say a biological male “is a woman” — full stop — on official records, in sports, in locker rooms. Not “identifies as,” but “is.” That isn't respect. It's a demand to override what your own eyes and a basic biology textbook tell you.

It must be genuinely painful to feel trapped in the wrong body, and anyone who feels that way deserves our compassion. But here’s the thing about being human: we all carry delusions about ourselves. Trivial ones, mostly — the teenager convinced he's headed for the pros without ever practicing, the person who assumes they’re always the smartest one in the room. Growing up is largely the process of colliding with reality and letting it correct us. That’s not cruelty. That’s maturity, and it’s healthy. Gender dysphoria is a far deeper and harder struggle — but accepting the feeling over the reality doesn't become healthy just because the stakes are higher.

Others will object: “Gender identity is different — it's rooted in the brain, it's science.” Maybe the feeling is real. But a feeling isn't a chromosome, and calling something “identity” doesn't exempt it from the same reality-testing we'd apply to any other belief about ourselves.

Kindness to individuals is good. But encouraging a false conception of oneself may look like kindness, but it is not love.

Mark Bodett, Wheaton