Does your partner keep you up at night? Consider a sleep divorce.

Elliot James, 35, and his wife started sleeping in separate bedrooms four years ago, shortly after their daughter was born. The London-based founder of a home fitness equipment review website said the move — known as a “sleep divorce” — has been “revolutionary.”

“My wife has always been a light sleeper, and I’ve always snored, pretty heavily, regardless of my weight or fitness level,” James said.

Before their sleep divorce, he tried nose strips, mouth tape, nasal dilators, sleeping upright and many other tools to dull his snoring. Nothing worked. (He suspects he may have sleep apnea, but hasn’t been able to get tested yet.)

“She would nudge me; I’d wake up momentarily, fall back asleep and the cycle would start multiple times a night again,” he said. “We had plenty of 3 a.m. arguments, nights in the spare bedroom or, if we were in a hotel, occasionally I’d find myself in the chair.”

Their schedules only made things harder: James is a self-described night owl, while his wife is usually asleep by 10 p.m., meaning she’d often wake when he finally came to bed. Then their daughter was born. His wife was waking throughout the night to breastfeed, and his snoring made what little sleep she could get even more fragmented. His sleep also suffered.

“I moved to the spare bedroom, now my bedroom, and the change was almost instant,” he said. “We both have better sleep; our mismatched routines don’t matter anymore, and we’re just generally happier for it.”

While the idea of a “sleep divorce” may sound drastic or like a last-resort option for some couples, therapists and sleep physicians say it can protect your sleep and, ultimately, your relationship.

The potential benefits of a sleep divorce

The term “sleep divorce” lands harder than it should, said Matthew Walker, a professor of neuroscience and biomedical engineering at UT Dallas and author of “Why We Sleep.”

“It sounds like someone’s getting custody of the duvet. What we’re really talking about is sleeping in separate beds, or separate rooms, some or all of the time,” he said.

Health experts and researchers have long known that bed partners can disrupt each other’s sleep, Walker said. And chronic sleep deprivation has well-established consequences for both physical and mental health.

“As a neurologist, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to get a good night’s sleep,” said board-certified neurologist David Perlmutter. “If sleeping separately helps someone achieve deeper, less fragmented sleep, the brain can benefit significantly.”

Better sleep supports memory, emotional regulation, metabolic health and immune function, he said.

For some people with chronic insomnia, sharing a bed — and worrying about waking a partner or becoming increasingly anxious about not sleeping — can create a cycle that makes sleep even harder, said Ashwini Nadkarni, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Sleeping separately may reduce some of that pressure, she said.

Splitting up, so that everyone can get the shut-eye they need, may also make your relationship stronger.

“Many couples feel the impact of poor sleep, as sleep deprivation can lead to heightened tension and difficulty regulating emotions, which can ultimately lead to increased resentment in a relationship,” said Mandolin Moody, an individual and couples therapist in New York. “When we sleep better, we feel better in both mind and body,” Moody said.

Nicole Moore, 42, a love and relationship coach in Montclair, New Jersey, knew long before she got married that she couldn’t comfortably share a bed every night. Two months into dating her now-husband, she told him she’d always need her own bedroom.

“I realized long ago that sleeping in the bed with someone quite literally makes me a miserable version of myself,” she said. “Every time I slept in the bed with a partner, I woke up less refreshed and more irritable because my body could never seem to rest comfortably with someone by my side.”

Moore worried the conversation would end the relationship. Instead, after taking a day to think about it, her boyfriend told her he still wanted to be with her, even if his preference was to share a bed.

“Some individuals feel more comfortable sleeping on their own and view it as a private and necessary time to recharge,” said Stephanie Freitag, a clinical psychologist and founder of New Gen Psychology. “Mutual acknowledgment of these respective needs can benefit the health of a relationship.”

How to make a sleep divorce work for you

Before jumping to a sleep divorce, first try identifying what’s actually disrupting your sleep and exploring all your options, said Michelle Jonelis, a sleep medicine physician and founder of Lifestyle Sleep Clinic in Mill Valley, California.

Could someone benefit from seeing a sleep specialist for a possibly undiagnosed sleep disorder? Can you find workarounds for mismatched schedules, like laying out clothes and toiletries in another room to avoid morning disturbances? If temperature preferences are monumental or someone is a chronic covers-thief, can you try the Scandinavian sleep method, where partners share a bed but use separate blankets?

If simple fixes don’t work — or if you and your partner consistently sleep better when you’re apart — a sleep divorce may be worth trying. The experts we spoke with all emphasized letting go of any stigma attached to the idea.

“I would encourage couples to take the shame out of this conversation,” Jonelis said. “The idea that a loving couple must share one bed for the entire night, every night, is a cultural expectation, not a biological requirement.”

One of the biggest concerns couples have about sleeping separately is whether it will come at the expense of intimacy. Therapists say it doesn’t have to.

For James, sleeping in separate bedrooms actually improved his relationship. Before the switch, he said, their bedroom had become “a bit of a battlefield,” where interrupted sleep and middle-of-the-night frustrations tainted moments of affection.

“We haven’t found it affects our intimacy — actually, the opposite, as our rooms aren’t seen as a place of exhaustion anymore,” he said.

It might just take some work to prioritize that kind of togetherness as you adjust to your new setup. Freitag recommended intentionally creating opportunities to connect, whether that’s sharing the bed before falling asleep, planning regular date nights or making time for physical affection throughout the day.

“Spend quality time where physical touch is involved — hugs count, too,” she said.

Sleeping separately also doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing arrangement. Some couples sleep apart during the workweek and reunite on weekends, while others share a bed for cuddling or intimacy before heading to separate rooms, Walker said.

As for fielding any judgmental reactions when you mention to someone else that you sleep in separate beds? Remember that taking care of your own comfort and self-care needs isn’t selfish — and can actually contribute positively to a romantic relationship, Moore said.

“There’s nothing about the state of the relationship implied,” Walker said, “and I’d argue the opposite [is true]: Choosing to sleep apart so you both sleep better can be one of the more considerate, even loving, things you do for each other.”

Perlmutter concurred, adding, “We shouldn’t be dogmatic about where or how couples sleep. The best arrangement is the one that allows both people to consistently get restorative sleep — full stop.”