Out of grief, hope for others: Suicide prevention organizations work together to spur dialogue, reduce rates in schools

In 2023, suicide was the second-leading cause of death of those between ages 10 and 34 in America, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. It was the fourth-leading cause between ages 35 and 44.

Larry and Mary Jo Butz of Hawthorn Woods know personally the impact of that statistic. When they lost their daughter Megan to suicide in 2020, they felt blindsided, and continue to struggle through a long, difficult cycle of grief.

“It’s like waves hitting you,” Larry Butz said. “There’s times it’s calm, and there’s other times you get hit by a 10-foot wave.”

One means of dealing with the trauma has been through trying to help others avoid it. In 2023, the Butzes founded Megan Butz Legacy of Hope, an organization based in Lake Zurich that gives money to programs battling mental health issues and suicide. This year, they are partnering with another group, Elyssa’s Mission, to expand their programming.

Founded in 2006 by Joanne Meyers, who lost her daughter Elyssa to suicide two years earlier, Elyssa’s Mission focuses on providing programming in schools with both an education component and a screening component to identify at-risk students.

As part of its 2025 grant cycle, Megan Butz Legacy of Hope granted around $20,000 to Elyssa’s Mission, allowing them to serve seven new schools in the Chicago suburbs.

“We have physical education classes that everybody takes from first grade on, but we don’t really have — we’re starting to get more of — but we haven’t had mental health education,” Larry Butz said.

This outreach aims to address that deficiency.

At both Elyssa’s Mission and Megan Butz Legacy of Hope, one of the goals is to spur real dialogue about suicide. The work is sensitive, but these advocates insist that talking about the subject is imperative for breaking stigmas surrounding it.

Psychologist Chris Bibby, who is an adviser to Megan Butz Legacy of Hope, emphasizes the importance of open discussions to connect with people who may be at-risk.

“I know normalizing honest dialogue about suicide and busting through myths, we actually save lives,” he said. “And by compassionately discussing suicide, it opens up the topic. It signals to others that it’s OK to talk about their thoughts of suicide. It serves people who may be suffering in silence and promotes connection, and that connection allows people to connect them with a mental health professional for additional support and prevent a death by suicide.”

The Butz’s target group is young people, and making an impact in schools is the main focus of 2025 grantee Elyssa’s Mission.

Using a “Signs of Suicide” — or SOS — program developed by a Massachusetts nonprofit organization, the group’s sessions begin by focusing on signs of potential suicide with a theme described in the acronym “ACT” or “acknowledge, care, tell.” Using a variety of survey questions, organizers identify individual students who want help and others who may be at-risk.

“I can't say for sure, but I think that they want to be asked,” Meyers said. “I think they want somebody to ask them, ‘Are you suicidal? Do you need help?’ … It might be easier for them to read a question and respond ‘yes,’ than it is to be asked.”

Elyssa’s Mission’s director of SOS programming, Jodie Segal, said the group’s data shows that generally, 14% of participating students are identified for a follow-up meeting and 7% ultimately receive a referral for services.

One of the seven new schools funded by Megan Butz Legacy of Hope is Libertyville High School. Brenda Nelson, the school’s prevention and wellness program coordinator, says conversations with Elyssa’s Mission started last spring.

“We wanted something that was very evidence-based in terms of suicide prevention programming,” Nelson said. “We didn't have something that quite provided what Elyssa's Mission and SOS does when it came to getting an eye on every kid.”

Libertyville is starting the program this year with its freshmen, reaching every student during health classes. Officials plan to continue in future years and offer Elyssa’s Mission’s refresher courses to students as they work their way through high school.

“What we saw post COVID in terms of just our own data was that mental health concerns relative to suicidal ideation and depression rose significantly,” Nelson said. “I think that we’re doing a better job now of talking about it, of addressing it.”

Meyers shares that assessment.

“I come to work every day, and I think subconsciously I come for [Elyssa] … but I really think about all those kids out there that are suffering that we’re able to reach,” she said. “And I get texts every day from Jodie when she’s at a school that’ll say, ‘We identified 25 P1s (for students with most urgent needs),’ … and I think, ‘oh my God, here we go.’ I mean, it’s amazing. It’s really amazing work.”

In two and a half years, the Butzes and their all-volunteer team have raised $900,000 and provided grants of more than $300,000. Their primary fundraising event is a golf outing combined with a dinner that happened this year Sept. 8 at Hawthorn Woods Country Club.

The Butzes say they’ve earmarked $250,000 for next year’s grants, and they’re accepting applications for that money until Dec. 15.

“We’ve developed a grant committee of 10 people and a scoring system, so we evaluate based on our mission of supporting youth and young adults with access to mental health programs,” Larry Butz said.

Megan Butz Legacy of Hope uses a lotus flower as its symbol.

“The lotus flower is a beautiful, delicate flower that grows out of a dark, murky water,” Larry Butz said. “I think it’s a great analogy for our situation, taking something tragic and dark and coming out with a beautiful outcome of helping others. That’s how we process this.”

Other resources also exist outside these programs for people who are in crisis. To get help, call, text or chat with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.