Marriage takes work
“They will become one flesh.”
— Genesis 2:23 (NIV)
Wedding bells are ringing for my granddaughter, Katelynn, and her husband-to-be, Douglas. I wish them and others God’s blessing on their marriage and offer a few words of advice.
Stating your wedding vows means the two of you will become one. This process takes place immediately in the eyes of God and the state. However, you will find to become one will take some time, experience and effort. It requires learning to grow together, to function as one. Even the apostle Paul said the becoming of one flesh was God’s mystery that he couldn’t understand. (Ephesians 5:31).
Starting off your new life as one, you share the same last name, address and some of the same dreams. In order to make those dreams come true, you must invite God into your marriage and do things his way,
God’s way is not achieved by following your feelings and emotions.
Sometimes it means denying yourself and yielding to the other, praying and following the truth in a situation. It involves exchanging kind words when you’d rather not. And always giving each other a kiss goodnight, even when you don’t feel like it, during or after a major dispute. This is keeping the faith principle in Ephesians 4:26, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
The writer of Ecclesiastes informs us, “God has made everything beautiful in it’s time.” Timing is everything. Ask God to teach you how and when to approach your mate on an issue or concern. Many a battle is won when discussed in the proper manner and at the right time, not in the heat of emotion or in the midst of a bad day.
Give each other space, don’t always demand all your mate’s time and attention. And don’t take everything personally. You have to learn to accept one another’s issues, while lifting them up in prayer for change.
When the honeymoon period is over and the goose bumps are gone, keep in mind love isn’t a feeling, but a choice. Fanning the flame of romance once in a while helps keep the passion alive. A loving note, a supportive word or compliment can give your spouse the message that you still care.
“When waging war you need guidance.” (Proverbs 24:6). When unable to resolve a conflict, seek Godly advice from someone who can shed some light on your dark situation. Remember, commitment is God’s super glue for marriage.
I pray God will pour out his spirit and blessings as you enjoy your new life together!
• Annettee Budzban is a Christian author of the book “Letters To A Friend,” speaker, life and writing coach and nurse. She can be contacted at annetteebudzban@aol.com.