Protecting the bridge

While my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary in Long Grove recently, we visited the famous Robert Parker Coffin Bridge, known for attracting oversized box trucks like flies to a bug zapper. So far, none of the solutions implemented to prevent vehicles from hitting the bridge has proven foolproof. What if we turned to technology and the Batcave in the old 1966 “Batman” TV series?

Inside the Batcave below stately Wayne Manor, Batman typically parked the Batmobile on a floor-mounted turntable. He drove in one way but the car would be facing the opposite direction when he needed to drive out. A floor-level turntable automatically would turn the car around so that it consistently was ready to exit the cave for action.

Step 1: Long Grove installs a weight-activated turntable in the road some 50 feet from the bridge.

Step 2: Long Grove installs a railroad crossing gate, festooned with Stop and Warning signs.

Step 3: Long Grove installs an AI-directed electronic planimeter atop the crossing gate in front of the turntable.

The AI detects a large vehicle (e.g., box truck, semitrailer, school bus, etc.) approaching the crossing gate, which triggers the lights to flash and the gate to block the road. The AI then triggers the electronic planimeter to measure the dimensions of the vehicle and compares those dimensions to the opening of the bridge. If the vehicle fits, the crossing gate lifts for the vehicle to pass through. If the vehicle doesn’t fit, the gate remains down, and the turntable revolves so that the vehicle can safely reverse course. Once the vehicle leaves the turntable (determined by the lack of weight on the device), then the crossing gate lifts.

Holy trestle! My wife merely rolled her eyes.

R. Dana Barlow

Schaumburg