Imrem: Chicago Trumps? Oh, what might have been
Watching the Republican presidential debate the other night made me think of the advice I gave Donald Trump 15 years ago.
Unwittingly - which is how I do most things - I essentially tried to save other GOP candidates considerable Trump-imposed grief.
The Donald threw out the first pitch at a Cubs game in Wrigley Field and sang "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."
Some who sing during the seventh-inning stretch run away immediately afterward.
Does it surprise anyone that Trump stayed around in Wrigley Field's media lunchroom to talk with anyone who cared to engage him?
I didn't even realize at the time what the New York Post reported the next day: Fans beneath Trump's private box had chanted, "Buy the Cubs! Buy the Cubs!"
Nevertheless, I also suggested to Trump that he "Buy the Cubs! Buy the Cubs!"
The Donald wasn't very interested in the proposal, perhaps because he was distracted by the fear that I would steal away his then girlfriend/now wife, Melania.
(To this day, I'm reasonably certain that there were sparks between the 5-foot-11 former model and the, uh, somewhat shorter me.)
Those were the days - like most during most of my lifetime - when the Cubs stunk. They were on the way to finishing with a 65-97 record after going 67-95 the previous season.
The North Side sentiment back then was "Anyone but Tribune Company," referring to the monstrosity that owned the Cubs.
How about an Arab Sheikh or a Mark Cuban-style blowhard or even Donald Trump?
Maybe The Donald, a master developer, simply was too smart to take on such a hopeless redevelopment project.
But as recently as earlier this year the concept of the "Chicago Trumps" baseball club lingered in small pockets around Wrigleyville.
The satire website mouthwire.com featured a headline in March reading, "Trump Buys Former Wrigley Field, Now 'Trump Stadium.' "
The spoof played off two stories: one, Trump putting his name on the side of his downtown Chicago high-rise; two, current ownership's methodical renovation plan for the ballpark.
Mouthwire.com quoted Wrigleyville resident "Maggie Porter" as saying, "Four years is too long for a makeover. If he can get it done sooner, I'm happy to live in Trumpville."
The jokes are over after a run of sickly seasons ended. The Cubs no longer are punch lines after going deep into the playoffs.
Club chairman Tom Ricketts and his family bought the Cubs from the Trib, and they aren't about to sell to Trump or anyone else anytime soon.
Still, it's fascinating to think what the Cubs would have been like the past 15 years if Donald Trump had accepted the ownership challenge.
Newspapers wouldn't have had large enough headline type to top stories chronicling The Donald's observations.
Back then when Bud Selig was commissioner: "I look at that little twit and can't help but think that he should be washing my private planes instead of being in charge of this great game that only I can make greater."
On Jerry Reinsdorf: "It's a pleasure sharing a baseball town with him because I run my team like an S&P 500 powerhouse and he runs his like a five-and-dime popgun."
On steroids in the game: "We're in the performance business, so what could be wrong with a Donald Trump player consuming performance enhancers?"
Oh, what great fun we could have had in Trumpville if I could have talked The Donald into buying the Cubs.
mimrem@dailyherald.com