Celebrating friendship, plus positive conversation starters

Valentine’s Day celebrated love in all of its forms — parents, kids, spouses, partners — but did you know there’s also a day to celebrate plain old friendship?

I’ve written before about the importance of social relationships, and friendships in particular, in keeping our spirits up, our hearts full and our brains working. As we saw during the pandemic, social isolation can have a negative impact on our cognitive abilities.

So whether or not you have someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, why not take time for alternative observances: Galentine’s Day, Palentine’s Day or Malentine’s Day. Each falls in February to celebrate friendships — and, not incidentally, check up on each other’s health and well-being, swap health and fitness tips and maybe even share doctors’ or therapists’ names.

Galentine’s Day was “invented” in 2010 by Leslie Knope (actress Amy Poehler) on the TV series, “Parks and Recreation.” The premise is that women — whether or not single — focus on celebrating the female friends in their lives. It’s a day of empowerment, and a reminder for women to support and lift each other up.

Poehler and her former castmates, by the way, still get together to observe Galentine’s Day.

A variation on Galentine’s Day is Palentine’s Day, as in celebrating our pals, the platonic friendships that enrich our lives. And so the guys don’t feel left out, someone coined Malentine’s Day, so they have a day focused on male friendships as well.

OK, so everyone has a non-romance day when they can celebrate their friendships. Whether it involves a bottle of wine, some beer or bourbon, a spa day or a round of golf, it’s a great opportunity to check in with each other.

Here are some health-related conversation starters:

• How’s everyone looking? New hairstyle, perhaps, new shoes, or a new look? If a friend has lost weight, that could be a point of conversation because they may have tried one of the semaglutide medications that treat obesity as well as Type 2 diabetes.

• What kinds of activities are they doing? Cross-fit, Zumba, aquacise, Pilates — the possibilities are almost endless. Maybe one of their ideas will spark curiosity and you’ll want to give it a try. Could a buddy invite you to their next workout?

• Besides physical exercise, what’s everyone doing to exercise their brain? Read any good books lately? Taken a class?

• Has anyone tried a different way of eating? Did they become a vegetarian or vegan? Adopt the Mediterranean diet or the DASH (dietary approaches to stop hypertension) plan? Share recipes!

• How’s everyone’s emotional state? Who seems happy, and who seems a little down? It’s possible there’s something going on in their lives that’s making them stressed or anxious, such as a spouse’s cancer diagnosis or a fear of dementia. Maybe a friend has tried a different anti-anxiety medication or found a wonderful new therapist who a) takes their insurance and b) is available virtually. In any case, it’s a great opportunity to provide a shoulder to cry on and emotional support, even if nothing can be done to remedy the immediate situation.

• Is anyone experiencing health challenges? We don’t want to talk endlessly about our latest aches and pains, but sometimes it helps to share a symptom because a friend may have had the same thing and found a solution. Maybe you’d share a referral to your doctor.

• Does a pal need a hand with anything, such as providing transportation or a second set of eyes and ears at a doctor’s appointment? If they seem to be struggling with advocating for themselves, you can share something you learned from my column, such as the importance of not leaving an appointment until they understand what their doctor wants them to do, and why.

• And if someone offers you a hand, don’t automatically respond with, “I’m fine, but thanks anyway.” Allow yourself to accept their help because you’ll be helping them, too. Giving a helping hand to others is good for all of us.

Just remember that Galentine’s Day and its companion observances were born out of a rebel spirit, intended as a rebuff to the conventions of Valentine's Day. It’s about doing exactly what you want to do, and feeling thankful for having friends to do it with.

• Teri Dreher is a board-certified patient advocate. A critical care nurse for 30+ years, she is founder of NShore Patient Advocates (www.NorthShoreRN.com). Her book, “How to Be a Healthcare Advocate for Yourself & Your Loved Ones,” is available on Amazon. She is offering a free phone consultation to Daily Herald readers; call her at (312) 788-2640 or email teri@northshorern.com.