Best holiday gift to teens all in the noggin?

Call it the reversal of Citicard's holiday ad, "Give Mom what she really wants -- her kid in a suit and tie at the family dinner table."

An Associated Press story Monday on studies of the teenage brain asked whether we really should be holding them accountable in court as adults. But the research mostly told parents of teenagers what they already knew. Living with their volatility can be a trial.

But the research also should remind them just how important they are in the lives of their teenage children, many of whom occasionally would like to deny they even have parents.

It also suggests that the best holiday gift to teens might be parents understanding that they remain the most experienced and most mature in this volatile relationship. And that it obligates them to understand and intervene, even knowing it likely won't be particularly appreciated.

"As any parent knows," said Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy for the majority in a ruling that banned the death penalty for anyone under 18, youths are more likely to show "a lack of maturity and an underdeveloped sense of responsibility" than adults. "These qualities often result in impetuous and ill-considered actions and decisions." Parents hardly needed a justice to tell them that, though they probably didn't know that behavior occurs because the part of the brain that controls impulses doesn't fully mature until around age 25.

"It doesn't mean adolescents can't make a rational decision or appreciate the difference between right and wrong," said another brain researcher, David Fassler, of the University of Vermont College of Medicine. Most parents know this, too. It's why they feel buffeted. One day their child seems entirely rational and the next, like an alien dropped from the sky.

"It does mean, particularly when confronted with stressful or emotional decisions, they are more likely to act impulsively, on instinct, without fully understanding or analyzing the consequences of their actions."

Knowing the holidays tend to raise the stress levels for everyone and that teens tend to be particularly susceptible to stress, Mom and Dad might want to remember they are the adults here. And that now might be an especially good time to consider reversing the Citicard ad, taking a moment or two to think about what their teens really need from them.

That would include a real effort to read their kids for stress and attempt to understand the emotional chaos it wreaks. Fewer demands in that moment, a hug or two (when their friends aren't around, of course), maybe even a word of advice about options or potential consequences from the slightly more developed brain might be in order.

Keeping in mind, of course, that it all may go for naught. But it still seems more likely to get beneficial results than a suit and tie.