This election like others: not very inspiring

Give thanks the Bears' quarterback derby won't come down to a public vote.

You know, like caucuses on Wednesday, primaries on Friday and a general election on Sunday.

This would be more frustrating than the current presidential campaigns.

Brian Griese, Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton aren't exactly George Washington, Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt, are they?

Picking from the Bears' available litter of QBs is as unappealing as picking from among Hillary, Barack and Edwards or Rudy, Mitt and Thompson.

If there's an obvious quarterback winner at Halas Hall, he's doing a great job of disguising himself as Dennis Kucinich, Duncan Hunter or some other afterthought.

Personally -- let's get this out of the way right now -- I would start Grossman at Seattle on Sunday. But it's like going into the voting booth and saying, "Ah, what the heck, why not?"

Nobody votes for a U.S. president or Bears quarterback anymore. Sad to say, you vote against all the other candidates.

We're back to the start of the season, before Griese was exposed as no more than a backup and Grossman as too short and slow.

Complicating matters now -- or perhaps simplifying them -- is the non-throwing shoulder injury Griese suffered at Oakland.

"We don't know what his situation is right now," Bears coach Lovie Smith said Monday.

If Griese is cleared medically, well, what would be the point of starting him against the Seahawks anyway? The optimism accompanying him a month ago has been reduced to resignation.

The best Bears quarterback perpetually is the one who hasn't been starting. Today that's Grossman, just as it was Griese in September and will be Orton in December.

The guy on the sideline always would do a better job managing foreign relations and the economy … er, make that providing first downs and points.

Grossman is that guy, at least until his first overthrown pass removes the luster from his touchdown toss that beat the Raiders on Sunday.

It's always possible that during Grossman's time on the bench he grew a couple of inches and took ballroom-dancing classes to improve his mobility.

"I really liked what Rex Grossman was able to do when he stepped in (at Oakland)," a grateful Smith said.

Yet Smith was customarily evasive concerning who his quarterback starter would be at Seattle, where the Bears try to reach .500.

Smith indicated he knows, but that nobody else needs to until "Sunday before the game … that's the only time you need to say what's going on."

In the meantime, Smith will play it coy though not necessarily cool.

That way, the Seahawks won't be able to prepare solely for the prospect of Griese, Grossman or even Orton fumbling the center snap from Olin Kreutz.

Smith really might be waiting for Tom Brady or Peyton Manning to walk through the door and suit up for practice in Lake Forest this week.

Seriously, it must be maddening for an NFL coach to accept the reality that the best he can do is Grossman, Griese or Orton.

Unfortunately, "none of the above" is not an option.

Smith might be hoping fate decides for him, like two of the three candidates slipping on banana peels during practice so the third gets the job by default.

No wonder such a small percentage of Americans vote in elections these days.

mimrem@dailyherald.com