The fantasy and reality of shacking up

The saying goes that you never truly know someone until you live with him or her. So, if you are in a committed relationship, why not just go ahead and shack up, right?

Asking your partner to move in with you seems like a good idea. There is the economic benefit - you can save bundles sharing the rent, food and utilities. Or it might just be fantasies of waking up to clean, matching socks or snuggling up next to your man for a chick-flick marathon that have you contemplating the big question: to shack up or not to shack up?

You know you are going to have to be a bit more considerate, but are you really ready for the realities of living with your partner?

Fantasy No. 1: You will combine your possessions and there will be an extra TV set for the kitchen. Rockin'!

Reality: Whoever moves in with whom, you are starting out on neutral ground with a new place - you must realize that some of your stuff is just going to have to go.

Men, your scantily clad, bikini babe posters will be banished to the trash.

Women, your stuffed animal collection that you painstakingly remove from the bed each night and replace the next morning will become nothing more than a memory at the bottom of a box.

Fantasy No. 2: Men, you will still get to see your friends every night, and your partner will smother you with kisses when you come home wasted.

Reality: Girl's night is still on (Champagne Thursdays!) and your man really will not mind the drama movie marathons that accompany it.

Men, come home drunk after staying out all night and the only thing you can expect to be smothered with is a throw cushion. Even the most accepting partner will frown on you going out every night of the week. A reality of shacking up is that you can expect nights with your friends to be cut back.

Fantasy No. 3: The house will be spotless; dinner will be on the table; laundry will be washed, folded and put away; the trash will be taken out; and you will never have to pay a handyman again.

Reality: You will be expected to do your share of the chores and pick up after yourself. If you wish the above to come true, then move back home with your parents.

Fantasy No. 4: Living together means paying less rent, so more money is left for you to spend on beer or new shoes.

Reality: One of the realities of moving in together is that you have to split all the bills, including dishing out for stuff like household cleaning products and bigger ticket items like vacuum cleaners.

Instead of daydreaming about rose petals on your bed or a martini when you get home, how about trying to picture reality?

Did you really want to know that your boyfriend clips his toenails while sitting on the toilet? Of course there is the fact that you also never noticed just how much he adjusted himself, even while sitting at the dinner table.

Does a man really need to see his girlfriend running around with bleach on her lip every other Sunday morning? Yes, we all have bodily functions, but you probably never knew potatoes produced that kind of reaction in your woman.

What it comes down to is the little things. Anything that irks you now will be magnified once you are in each other's presence constantly.

So what you might be asking yourself, instead of calculating all the bucks you will save, is if you can overlook those little things.

Can you put up with snoring, drool on a pillow in the morning or someone using your loofah in places it should never go? Go ahead and keep your fantasies. Just make sure that when you shack up, you do not get trout-slapped with reality.

<p class="breakhead">Get cultured</p> <p class="News">Can you imagine taking a date to a library? You might want to give it a try by hitting the Arlington Camera Club's photography display at the Elk Grove Village Public Library, 1001 Wellington Ave. The free exhibit, which you can find in the lobby, runs through November. The library is open from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Thursday; 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday; and 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday.</p> <p class="breakhead">Make room for turkey</p> <p class="News">Hit the Hotel Baker, 10 West Main St., St. Charles, between 8:30 and 11:30 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 26, for a Thanksgiving Eve swing dance. The cost is $10. For more info, see <a href="http://www.hotelbaker.com" target="new">hotelbaker.com</a>.</p> <p class="breakhead">If you thought the library was odd ... </p> <p class="News">Surprise your date with your uniqueness by going on an owl prowl at the Chicago Botanic Garden from 7 to 9 p.m. Monday, Nov. 24. An expert will tell you all you need to know about these wise creatures before leading you into the woods to find some yourself. Dress warmly and bring a flashlight. What could be more romantic than holding hands and sneaking around in the woods? The cost is $37. For more info, see <a href="http://www.chicagobotanic.org.school" target="new">chicagobotanic.org.school</a>.</p>