How you can avoid dreaded date-night blunders

Let's face it guys, dating is tough. After you finally figured out where to take her, what to wear and what cologne to put on, you still have one tall order to fill: How are you going to not totally screw up on the first date?

It is a nerve-racking game, but if you watch your words and actions - and avoid these blunders - you might actually make it through the night without getting told off, slapped or left sitting alone.

Dis' your mom, sister or ex

No girl wants to date a mama's boy, but we sure as heck do not want anything to do with a guy that slags his mom (sister or ex). By dissin' the women in your life you are putting it out there that you do not respect females.

The infamous B word

Please refrain from using this in reference to women. When women call each other the B word it only stings Yet, for some reason when men say it, it sounds really venomous. Do you want a woman you just met to think you are capable of that? Plus, she is going to wonder if you will be talking about her that way some day - not a flattering thought.

Adjust yourself

By now we are all old enough to know that you are not getting your jollies in public and that adjusting yourself does serve a purpose, whatever that may be. Still, digging and then swigging your drink, taking a bite of food or, well, doing anything is just unappealing.

If this is a subconscious action for you, as it is with most guys, you should probably hire someone to sit within your eye line to signal to you when you are about to head for the below the belt zone. Seriously.

Answer your cell phone

Yes, we live in a connected society. No, that was not your aunt calling to tell you she got home from church bingo safely.

While on a first date there should be nothing more important than chatting up, having fun and getting to know the person you are with. When you answer that phone you are signaling to your date that she is not holding your attention, whether you mean to give that message or not.

That text from your buddy with the final game score can wait.

Talk about money

It is always nice to know if a guy can or cannot pay for dinner, but the knowledge a girl can be without for the first few dates is your bank account balance, credit card limits and salary.

Regardless if you are boasting about a tidal wave of cash or the latest drought, both signify self-esteem problems - not something you want to let a girl get a glimpse of on the first few outings. Plus if you brag about cash, you just sound like a pompous jerk.

Check out other women

This is such a deal breaker that there is no coming back from this mistake. Checking out other women while pretending to look at your date - even more so if you think she does not notice - tsk tsk. Giving the excuse that "I thought I knew that girl" is even worse because now you assume that your date is blind and stupid. (This is what might get you slapped.) You will never see this girl again.

Order drinks while she is gone

Thank you for thinking of the little details while a girl was powdering her nose, but no thank you. Can you say Roofie? In this day and age, even though your actions might have been completely harmless and totally thoughtful, you are going to creep any girl out - and keep her glancing in her glass for partially dissolved pill fragments all night long.

Bathroom humor

Jokes are fantabulous! Every woman loves a sense of humor on a guy - it is the best accessory. Except when it is bathroom humor. You know what I am talking about - any jokes that involve bodily functions, a litany of expletives and anything else that would curl your mother's nose hairs.

When on a first date with a woman, you are probably nervous, anxious and on edge. There are many awkward moments that you will find yourself in the middle of. However, if you play your cards right and make a point of avoiding the above behaviors, you might actually have a chance at the elusive second date.

DIY dates

Gotta dance

It's getting colder outside so it's time to take your moves indoors. Check out the Willowbrook Ballroom for dances and classes. On Monday and Tuesday, Oct. 27 and 28, the theme is country and western dancing. Lessons run from 7:30 p.m. to 9 and the real dancing runs from 9 to 10 p.m. and cost $8. If country's not your style, try salsa dancing on Wednesday, Oct. 29, with lessons from 7:30 to 8 p.m. and dancing from 8:30 to 11 p.m. Cost is $10. Learn with your partner or come on your own and meet other singles. The ballroom's at 8900 Archer Ave., Willow Springs. For more info, see willowbrookballroom.com.

Mmmm, chocolate

Sit back and relax at Morton's "Sinfully Sweet" wines and chocolate pairing Friday, Oct. 24, from 6 to 7 p.m. at the Rosemont restaurant, 9525 W. Bryn Mawr. Morton's Steakhouse says you all work to hard and deserve an end of the week treat and a treat this is with truffles, mousse and a chocolate fountain. Cost is $40 a person and reservations are required. Contact (847) 678-5155 for more info.

Single scene

New Beginnings: $10 at the door will get you into New Beginning's Sweetest Day Dance at St. Mathews Church, 1001 E. Schaumburg Road in Schaumburg. The dance runs from 8 to 11 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 18. Coffee, tea, soft drinks and snacks will be provided. For more info, contact Joan Neville at (847) 397-9643.