Pair demonstrates value of lifelong friendship

From war to peace, from health issues to death notices, from politics to politicking, the function of a newspaper is to report on the important things in life. What could be more important than a lifelong friendship?

For close to 80 years, that is exactly the blessing bestowed upon Virginia Barnard, 82, of Arlington Heights and Arleen Messina, 83, of Wheeling. They have traveled life together from tricycles to walkers and today serve as role models to others on the importance of friendship.

"The experience of a lifelong friendship is invaluable," said Messina. "You know you have ... someone always to share in your joys, sorrows, physical and emotional pain like no one else ever can."

Both Barnard and Messina grew up in a Glenview neighborhood.

"When she moved in next door, my mother made me go over and talk to her even though I didn't want to," said Barnard. "But it turned out we bonded immediately. Our bedroom windows faced one another and we would talk back and forth with each other, first thing in the morning and last thing at night."

As they sit back and recall their childhood together, memories flow out as pleasant as the nectar of lemonade on a hot, summer's day.

"We made May baskets out of construction paper for the mothers," Barnard said. "We'd take them across the street to Mrs. Bucklin, Mrs. Bernhart, and Mrs. Reisner. We would also camp out, and play Kick the Can and Red Light. We had no choice. We had no transportation, cell phones, or TVs, so we made our own entertainment."

Messina recalls being inseparable. Even during a chickenpox quarantine, they couldn't bear to have more than a lawn hedge dividing them.

"That was our idea of keeping away from each other," said Messina. Although just a few blocks from their houses, an unfinished sidewalk that led to nowhere was an adventure for the curious duo.

"It ended at a creek with some trees so we called it Blueberry Island, although there wasn't a blueberry in sight," Messina said. "We'd take our milk in a mayonnaise jar with our peanut butter sandwich and have a picnic. It seemed so far away."

"That's my favorite memory of the two of them," said Beth Messina of Buffalo Grove, Arleen's daughter. "I can just picture them skipping, hopping with their lunch and giggling and laughing."

The pair managed to keep the giggling and laughing going even during the Depression. They made up games to occupy the time. They would put on shows of tricks and cartwheels for their parents. If not swinging away, they would walk to downtown Glenview. If lucky enough to have a penny, with precision and promptness, they would spend it at Rennackers Drugstore.

"We didn't often have a penny, but when we did we'd really weigh what to spend it on," Barnard said. "We used to get two jawbreakers for a penny."

Yes, bounty was not plentiful for them during the Depression. Messina recalls having only one dress to wear. "I would wear it to school Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, when we had our bath, my mother would wash and iron it and then I'd wear it Thursday and Friday. I was terribly embarrassed."

Yet, they got through it all, hand-in-hand, as they would with everything else in life. Both were there for each other when spouses died, when Messina lost a daughter, and through health issues.

"Their strong friendship helped them through difficult times and gave them someone to lean on," said Beth. "This year, in particular, they both have been hospitalized. Visiting each other really helped their morale."

Being there, whether together, or apart, was always a staple in the lives of these two cronies. Even when Barnard, who has two children, went off to Monmouth College for her speech/English degree, and later moved with her husband to Virginia for 38 years, the two stayed in touch.

"Long distance was too expensive, but my mother would keep me updated on her, and we would be sure to see each other when I came home to visit," said Barnard, who, at the time, worked with the Fairfax County, Va., Library System.

Messina, too, was busy with her life. Although Virginia stood up in Arleen's wedding, their paths took different directions. Arleen had three children. She worked for the telephone company, as a physician's receptionist, and dermatologist's office manager until she retired in 1987.

Today, Messina volunteers at the Kingswood United Methodist Church in Buffalo Grove organizing craft fairs, holding Bible study, and creating note cards. Because of her health, Barnard is not quite as active as Messina. However, the two still visit often and talk on the phone every day.

Taking a cue from Virginia and Arleen, Beth punctuates her lifelong friendship with Eileen Farrell Rubin. Like Virginia and Arleen, Beth and Eileen met in their Buffalo Grove neighborhood and have remained connected ever since.

"My parents lost a daughter, but I lost a sister," said Beth. "Eileen helped me through that and the death of my father. She is always supportive and as I get older I see how important it is to have someone to count on."

Daughter, like mother, has also found her someone for life's tricycle to walker journey.