Coming to terms with 'Secret Life of an American Teenager'
"The Secret Life of an American Teenager" isn't a summer TV series so much as it's a pamphlet on teen pregnancy - and a slipshod, slanted, slightly silly one at that.
One character recites endless statistics on teen sexual activity. Another boasts of chastity to his girlfriend as if reading from a Sunday-school text, saying, "Besides, sexual purity inside or outside of marriage isn't a one-time vow, Grace. It's a daily recommitment to God and His plan for us." A father declares, "None of my daughters are ready to have sex," right in front of them.
The characters move around stiffly and sometimes inexplicably, as if in a high-school morality play. So while "Secret Life" has the potential to be far more realistic than last year's hit feature film "Juno," which was really just a clever bit of indie-movie wish fulfillment, it ends up being little more than an "After school Special" with weekly installments.
"Secret Life" debuts at 7 p.m. today on ABC Family, and that's part of the problem - both time and place. Set in the so-called "family hour" on a self-described "family channel," it can't really address the thorny reality of teen pregnancy. Instead, it handles the issue in a pat way with a lot of obvious parallelism.
There's a sexpot and a determined virgin, with our shy and troubled heroine in between (hiding a pregnancy test in her French-horn case). There's a Lothario and a well-intentioned if pent-up nice guy, with a nerd sweet on our heroine in between. And on the outside looking in there's that stats-quoting know-it-all, who pretty much functions as a Greek chorus commenting on the action.
Shailene Woodley is likable enough as Amy, our heroine. She has none of Ellen Page's wisecracking savoir faire as Juno; in fact, it's hard for her just to admit that she lost her virginity to "some guy at band camp." (No character in this series seems familiar with the "American Pie" movies, which is why no one suspects what might actually go on at "band camp.") When her friends, Lauren and Madison, ask why she's even telling them - shazam, a light bulb goes on above their heads.
Yet no sooner does Lauren even mention the "options" than Madison cuts her off, saying, "You better not be suggesting she get an abortion!" No, that might jeopardize the show's standing with the forces who figure to be its largest audience segment. So off the show marches with blinders on.
In contrast, there's Megan Park's Grace, a Bible-thumping blond cheerleader. "We're gonna save what's for marriage for marriage," she says to Greg Finley's Jack, her studmuffin beau. Yet when Jack does the math, with Grace insisting she doesn't want to get married until after medical school, he gets a lot more leery about that "daily recommitment to God and His plan for us."
That draws him to Francia Raisa's Adrian (yes, a girl, and eager to prove it). When she later says, "I don't think we did anything wrong," she's either talking about what they did or how they did it, so she has no such qualms about saving herself for marriage or med school. Besides, she already has her own love tussle going on with Daren Kagasoff's Lothario Ricky, and a little on the side to make him jealous might be just the thing to keep him in place.
If anything will keep Ricky in place. He seems pretty insatiable, and I'll give aware readers one guess about who the real pregnancy perpetrator is. Yet before you can hate him, his therapist, played by Ernie Hudson, reveals in one of their dramatically convenient sessions that he was sexually abused by his father. Even at that, Ricky is pretty unrepentant, saying, "Love calls, and I must answer," so go ahead and hate him.
Again contrast him with Kenny Baumann's Ben, who's a little too nebbish cute as Amy's aspiring sweetheart. He joins the band to get close to her, saying, "How hard can it be to read music? If Blind Lemon Jefferson can do it, I can do it." Still, a viewer can see he's already being set up as Amy's support system, even if my guess is there'll probably be an episode or two of doubt to build drama.
Molly Ringwald is along as Amy's mother, but really she was more believable when she was surrendering her panties to a nerd in "Sixteen Candles."
As the father of two daughters, I'll admit that "Secret Life" might serve a purpose in giving parents and their children (yes, not just girls) a way to address teen sexuality. My first rule of TV parenting - at any age or stage of development - is to watch what your kids watch and talk with them about it. Yet the drama in "Secret Life" is so, oh I don't know, aborted it makes an uncomfortable task even more unappealing. So stick to "Juno" or, better yet, Keri Russell's "Waitress" as an unwanted-pregnancy conversation starter. And remember at all times that a woman who's pregnant, like a TV viewer, has options.
In the air
Remotely interesting: WFLD Channel 32 has promoted Geoff Dankert to assistant news director. He joined the station in 1999 and previously served as managing editor. The Fox affiliate has also hired Kori Chambers to join the "Good Day Chicago" morning newscast as it expands into the 9 o'clock hour. Chambers comes to town from WDIV-TV in Detroit. ... Jim Lehrer has rejoined "The NewsHour" on PBS after recovering from a heart procedure. He'll start by working two or three days a week as he works up to a full schedule. "The NewsHour" airs at 6 p.m. weekdays on WTTW Channel 11.
HBO has renewed "In Treatment" for another season.
End of the dial: Urban-contemporary WGCI 107.5-FM led all stations in monthly Arbitrends released last week, although the Cubs allowed WGN 720-AM to close the gap in second. Adult-urban WVAZ 102.7-FM, all-news WBBM 780-AM and Spanish-language WOJO 105.1-FM filled out the top five.
Oldies WZZN 94.7-FM has formally changed its call letters to WLS-FM.