A satiric view on gay marriage issue

Everyday I'm hearing about homosexuals getting married in California now that its Supreme Court has overturned the ban on gay marriage.

I'm getting nervous! What if other states decide that it would be OK for gays and lesbians to have equal rights? What if it spreads all the way to Illinois? What is going to happen to all of us who are straight?

Right now in Illinois, it is not legal for homosexual couples to be married. So right now, I am very attracted to ladies (one in particular).

What if the Illinois lawmakers decide that all people are created equal? What will I say to my girlfriend when I can't stop myself from trying to pick up men? This has the potential of destroying American families!

Some people have told me that homosexuals are "born that way" and that I should have nothing to worry about, but who knows?

If it became legal, what if I became "re-born that way" or "born-again?"

What if many people become "born-agains" if this becomes legal. Can you imagine? The divorce rate might skyrocket and "until death do us part" might lose its meaning. This has disaster written all over it!

Colin Barr

Arlington Heights