What happens in Vegas can stay there

"What Happens in Vegas" is a romantic comedy for masochists.

It's barely romantic, not very funny and, unlike most unfunny Hollywood sex comedies, it doesn't even look very good.

How can a big-studio romance, set in Las Vegas and New York City with Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in the leads, look this dreary, scruffy and styleless?

Director Tom Vaughan, who made the amusing British quiz show comedy "Starter for 10," has no visual strategy here except to point the camera as much as possible at his famously photogenic stars. Diaz, as usual, is up to the chore, and so is Kutcher, despite a post-Beatle shaggy hairdo that reminds you a little of Javier Bardem's locks in "No Country for Old Men" -- a haircut that was supposed to look awful.

In "Vegas" (which might be subtitled "No Country for Nice People"), Diaz plays Joy, an emotionally bruised white-collar gal recently dumped by her egotistical jerk of a fiancé (Jason Sudeikis). Kutcher plays the unemployed womanizer Jack, fired by his own father (Treat Williams).

Seeking to drown their failures and sorrow in Sin City, these two big-city singles -- accompanied by their sarcastic best friends Hater (Rob Corddry) and Tipper (Lake Bell) -- bump into each other at the bar, get married after a drunken binge, hate each other in the morning, then must decide what to do about the $3 million Jack conveniently wins at a slot machine using Joy's quarter.

Just as you might expect, matters are settled by a comically irascible judge (Dennis Miller), who rejects their divorce appeals, ties up the winnings and sentences them to six months of real marriage, supervised by a marriage counselor played by Queen Latifah.

Immediately, this unpleasant pair and their best buddies start trying to wreak sabotage. Joy stages wild parties with male and female strippers disguised as cops to weaken Jack's marital resolve. Jack steals the bathroom door and tries to gross out Joy by pouring popcorn down his pants as they watch movies.

And so it goes.

What can you say about a botched screwball comedy where Kutcher plays an irresponsible playboy complaining about a forced half-year cohabitation with Diaz? Or where Dennis Farina pops up as Joy's boss Dick Banger, whose name inspires Jack to repeated comic salvos at Joy's company retreat?

Or a film in which Miller, the smirking snarler of a Fox TV pundit, plays a character called Judge Whopper, who is supposed to be one of the voices of reason, along with Latifah's Dr. Twitchell? Actually, it might have been funnier if Miller and Latifah had switched jobs.

This movie is a waste of a good cast and a bad haircut. It's also a dubious piece of advertising not only for Sin City, but for sin itself.

"What Happens in Vegas"

.½

Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz, Rod Corddry, Dennis Miller, Dennis Farina and Queen Latifah.

Directed by: Tom Vaughan.

Other: A 20th Century Fox release. Rated PG-13 (drug reference, language, sexual situations).