Butterflies released in memory of babies lost

A butterfly release, in the serenity of the sun-splashed memory garden at Northwest Community Hospital, took on all the hopes and memories of nearly two dozen families gathered there on Saturday.

Each family thought of the baby they had lost, or in some cases, twins, as they set a Painted Lady butterfly free from its envelope container.

"I almost didn't come, but I'm so glad I did," said Rachel Neally, of Port Barrington, who miscarried identical twin sons earlier this year. "It makes you feel better, and not so alone."

This was the third year the hospital's Renewal Through Sharing program organized the service. It is always held it at the end of May, in between Mother's Day and Father's Day, to support both parents.

Families met first in the Village Cafȩ, where they went around the room and introduced themselves, and briefly described the infant they were remembering.

"I know it's hard, but sometimes just saying the name out loud, helps," said Pam Ferguson, program coordinator. "I want you to hear the stories and know that you're all in the same place."

Erik Stolzer and Judy Balazs of Mount Prospect came with their 16-month-old daughter, Charlotte, who helped them release the butterfly. Of all of the families gathered, their loss was the freshest, having miscarried an infant son just one month ago.

"It helps to come and see all of these people," Stolzer said, "and know that we are all sharing the same sorrows of life."

Vera Whittler of Roselle miscarried her child in January, and her eyes filled with tears as she thought of her loss. However, outside in the garden, she smiled as she released her butterfly.

"This might give me some closure," Whittler said. "I miscarried at six weeks, so I never had a baby to bury."

She later found comfort, in meeting other mothers who had miscarried, and then had gone onto have a successful pregnancy, like Mary Knogl of Des Plaines, who brought her 6-week-old Matthew with her.

"It's really a rough road," Knogl said. "Thank God there's an organization like this to help."