Mooseheart 'mom' is mission-minded with big heart

Ta'Merria Ross was feeling unfulfilled with her job at a Quad Cities credit union when she spotted a help wanted ad seeking "mission-minded" people.

That ad led Ross, a single woman with no children of her own, to make a dramatic change in her life and move from western Illinois to Mooseheart, where she now lives with and cares for 11 teenage boys.

"It's a little crazy. You've got to be a little crazy to do this kind of job," said Ross, 37, who has been a family teacher at Mooseheart for six years. "It's definitely a lifestyle."

She is sitting at a table that is long enough to seat the 11 young men, herself and the McDiarmids, a couple with two daughters who are also family teachers at Michigan House on the Mooseheart campus.

"This is the hot spot. It all goes down here," Ross said.

The kitchen is an important room with huge bags of fruit on the counter and two large refrigerators stocked and ready to feed 11 hungry teens every day.

"They do eat a lot," Ross said. "Just like any mother, you have to multitask ... It's a daunting task managing their lives."

Ross takes care of much more than just feeding, clothing and running errands. The boys' emotional needs are substantial. Many of them have been through a lot. They are living and learning at Mooseheart because their families are troubled. Some have parents in prison or struggling with drug and alcohol addiction. Others have been abused. Some have parents who just can't take care of them.

Ross stays closely tuned to how they are feeling and seems to have an innate ability to sense when someone needs some time alone or some guidance.

Sometimes they lash out at Ross. They may be angry with their parents but Ross is the one who is there.

"You can't take a lot of things personally," Ross said. "We have strong relationships with these kids. It is a very intense relationship at times."

But just because they come from troubled backgrounds doesn't mean Ross will let them slide. They have a daily list of chores -- many of which are done before school. Their beds are made every day, the floors swept and everything put in its place. If something isn't done there are consequences, such as losing television time or some other privilege.

That discipline keeps Michigan House functioning, but it also teaches the boys time management and how to take care of things, Ross said, noting that nearly all Mooseheart students also go on to succeed at college.

"One of the most crippling things you can do is to expect them not to achieve," she said.

The students appreciate her support, honesty and compassion.

"Whenever we have problems, we can go to her and she'll help us out," said Chris Cole, 16, of Baltimore, Md., who has been with Ross since she arrived six years ago.

The two have talked about where Cole will attend college and study political science. He's considering the University of Chicago as well as Rice University in Houston. And Ross is encouraging him every step of the way.

"She's cool. She's just unique in how she handles things. She's smooth. She's like a mother figure to me," said Sam Rind, 18, from Long Island, N.Y., who will be graduating in a couple weeks and studying in Elgin Community College's culinary arts program.

Ross acknowledges when she first arrived at Mooseheart the transition was anything but smooth.

Although there are several weeks of training, nothing can prepare you for living with a house full of teen-agers, she said.

There were many tearful calls to back home in Rock Island, to her mother, Fannie Haynes, who listened and supported her daughter's career decision.

"She has the instinct big in her. It comes from a big heart," Haynes said. "She really mothers them."

In addition to her compassionate nature, Haynes said it helps that Ross comes from a big family with seven children (five of them boys) and that they went through some difficult days of their own. When Ross was young, Haynes said her husband at the time was not the most encouraging or supportive person.

"We did a lot on our own. We learned from each other and depended on the Lord," Haynes said.

That faith remains strong in Ross and gives her strength.

Finding such caring and capable people is like finding a needle in a haystack, Mooseheart's executive director Scott Hart said.

They give up a great deal of their personal time, and even though the family teachers have their own private rooms whenever something is going on in the house, they are in the midst of it, Hart said.

"It takes a lot of fortitude and strength," Hart said. "You really have to find people who are incredibly selfless … She has made that commitment to the boys to stick with them through thick and thin."

It's a commitment not many would be willing to make.

Ross said she has learned as much from the boys as they have from her.

"I've grown a lot as a person," she said "I wouldn't change a thing. It's been the highlight of my adult life."

Mooseheart Child City and School

What: Mooseheart is a residential childcare facility, a home for children and teens in need, from infancy through high school. Dedicated in July 1913 by the Moose fraternal organization, Mooseheart cares for youth whose families are unable to care for them.

Where: Mooseheart is located on a 1,000-acre campus between Batavia and North Aurora on Route 31.

Residences: Children live in one of 30 residences designed like a spacious single-family residence. Each is home for six to 12 children. The heart of the program is family teachers, providing a consistent, systematic method of care with emphasis on social-skills development. Mooseheart, with the completion of a long term ongoing capital improvement program, will have the capacity to train and educate more than 300 young people at any one time, according to its Web site.