'Sex and the City' movie lacks any real sizzle
On cable TV (and later on syndicated networks in a sanitized format), the original HBO series "Sex and the City" became extremely successful with its character-driven scripts, conservative camera work and bold nudity, all of which played to the strengths of the maturing medium.
The series celebrated many things, but two in particular: the importance of honest, female friends and forgiveness in everyday life.
The main character, newspaper columnist Carrie Bradshaw, used incessant voice-over narration to keep a running tally on what was going on, who the personalities were and how they all felt, which negated the need for cast members to excel at projecting their characters emotions and thoughts.
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This became a godsend for the show, since it featured the most overtly mannered and least-convincing actress in the history of American television, Kristin Davis.
Yeah, she's the cute one. On TV, cute can cover massive deficiencies of talent. So can incessant omniscient voice-over narrators.
Now, four years since the vaguely happy series finale, along comes the anxiously awaited silver-screen version of "Sex and the City," and it proves that what works on TV doesn't necessarily translate into meeting the expectations of a theatrical feature.
Michael Patrick King has never directed a full-length feature, just tons of TV episodes. So it should come as no surprise that his movie "Sex and the City" is a flabby and padded affair that rumbles along like a star vehicle with the tires deflated.
Enough of the original show's charm and character survives to ensure the series extensive fan base will get its fix of martinis, Manolos and men, but newcomers to the Sex experience might be unimpressed by the episodic TV-like plotting, overwritten dialog and dumbed-down narration where Carrie Bradshaw constantly comments on the obvious. When we see Samantha shopping, Carrie tells us, Samantha went shopping!
King's movie opens with a thankfully brief refresher on the four best friends: chatty Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), man-hungry Samantha (Kim Cattrall), ditzy Charlotte (Davis) and over-analytical Miranda (Cynthia Nixon).
Without ruining plot twists, it's safe to reveal that Carrie finally gets Mr. Big (Chris Noth) to agree to say I do. Meanwhile, Miranda can't get over that her man Steve (Naperville's David Eigenberg) slept with another (never-seen) woman, even though she herself has not forked over the bedroom goods in six months.
Samantha has been super-loyal to her younger, hot, movie star lover Smith Jarrod (Jason Lewis), but becomes obsessed with the hunky stranger next door who appears to have a willing (and magnificently built) sex partner every hour of the day.
Finally, Charlotte appears to be extremely happy with her Jewish husband (Evan Handler) and Asian adopted daughter Lilly. But she notes that bad things happen to her good friends, and fears something terrible will destroy her happiness.
Sex tries to spice up its exclusive cast of wealthy, materialistic, approaching-middle-age white women with a struggling young black named Louise (Chicago's own Jennifer Hudson). She hails from St. Louis -- the heartland don't you know. She has a designer purse, but points out she can only afford to rent it for appearances.
Louise has come to the Big Apple to look for love after her boyfriend dropped her. So Carrie hires Louise as her personal assistant, of course.
In this cliche-riddled film, it rains when the characters are sad. It snows when the characters are cold and lonely. When two lovers reunite, we actually hear a cover of the BeeGees' lyrics "How can you mend a broken heart?"
What once seemed to work on TV now feels forced and phony. As Carrie notes, It sure feels different this time.
Sex and the City
two stars (out of four)
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrell
Directed by: Michael Patrick King
Other: New Line Cinema. Rated R for sexual situations, nudity and language. 140 minutes.