Thankfully, Floyd returns it to baseball

Gavin Floyd accomplished the impossible Tuesday night.

No, sorry, he didn't pitch a no-hitter.

If Floyd had, it only would have been improbable considering this was the third time he threatened to throw one this season.

What Floyd did was lend some order to the White Sox' disorder, some function to their dysfunction, some walk to their talk.

My goodness, you could almost say you went to Comiskey Park to see the "Jerry Springer Show" and a baseball game broke out.

And what a baseball game it turned out to be.

Floyd held the Minnesota Twins hitless for 8½ innings in what became a 7-1 Sox victory.

More than that, Floyd quieted the ruckus surrounding the Sox and took their game from the clubhouse to the field.

Floyd isn't an inflatable female doll. He isn't the object of a rant by Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. He isn't a six-game losing streak.

All of those were the hot topics when the Sox arrived at the ballpark after an 0-fer road trip.

The losing wasn't the worst part. The perception was that the Sox left their dignity in a brown paper bag on the side of the road somewhere.

So the media wanted to know why Sox players thought propping up a pair of inflatable female dolls in their Toronto locker room would bust their hitting slump.

Also, what was the purpose of Guillen's explosion condemning Sox fans for objecting to his lineups and Chicago for remaining a Cubs town?

Finally, was the losing streak the end of the world, could the end of the world be seen from it, or was this merely a bump on the road to the World Series?

Guillen and Sox general manager Kenny Williams spent what seemed like an eternity addressing the issues late in the afternoon.

Williams understood the insensitivity of the inflatable dolls prank, especially with CNN flashing a "Sexcapades" graphic and national columnists scolding or laughing at the Sox.

Guillen still seems to not get it, not surprisingly considering he snickers at the mention of sensitivity training.

Williams recognizes a baseball clubhouse is a workplace and must play by the same 21st century correctness applied to other workplaces.

Anyway, all these issues were swirling around the Sox. Players had to deal with them when they and the media arrived at Comiskey Park. Then Floyd took the mound at 7:11 p.m.

All the nonsense and silliness were postponed right then. For the next 2:27 a buzz built over Floyd's performance.

"All the support they give you pumps you up," Floyd said of the fans. "I kept my focus, making my pitches and attacking."

Floyd certainly wasn't thinking about inflatable dolls and manager rants, only about ending a losing streak and a potential no-hitter.

Ah, but the Twins broke through on Joe Mauer's ninth-inning double -- on a slider, Floyd said -- and the 25-year-old pitcher left to a standing ovation.

The questions directed at him afterward were considerably more comfortable than the ones Williams and Guillen heard earlier.

When did you know you had a no-hitter going? Did anybody say anything to you between innings? Do you think it's inevitable you'll get one some day?

Clearly, Gavin Floyd had deflated the inflatable dolls furor for a few hours and even had Guillen raving instead of ranting.

mimrem@dailyherald.com