Sox can do it again as soon as pigs can fly

As hope springs eternal, I have another week to find reasons the White Sox aren't hopeless.

Like maybe pigs can fly and Juan Uribe is worth what he's being paid. Like maybe a man can give birth and Joe Crede can be traded for pitching. Like maybe ice cream can cure cancer and Mike MacDougal will become a quality reliever.

Seriously, the most recent spring training I felt this pessimistic about the Sox, I told general manager Kenny Williams so.

"It's too hard to build a contender in one winter," I said, "by trading for some guys, signing some other guys and promoting some other guys."

Of course, the year was 2005. The Sox didn't win anything. They won everything.

Williams' performance was the most remarkable ever by a local general manager. The tendency was to call him a genius for winning the World Series.

Actually, he was a smart guy who got lucky. You know, just as Jerry Angelo was for building the Bears into the Super Bowl and Jim Hendry was for building the Cubs into a couple of playoffs.

John Paxson and Dale Tallon should be that lucky.

So here we are, with Williams trying to re-reinvent the Sox.

What I told him back in '05 applies today. The Sox won't be good this season. Even if they are, the Tigers and the Indians will be better.

Again, as then, too many ifs dot the roster.

If the Sox play with more intensity, if they are more patient at bat and if their chemistry is better … they could be OK.

Also, the Sox will prevail if somebody can play center field, anybody can play second base, and everybody can pitch the way Williams projects.

The names in question include Juan Uribe, Alexei Ramirez, Jerry Owens, Brian Anderson, John Danks, Gavin Floyd, Jose Contreras, Octavio Dotel and Scott Linebrink.

You inspired by that gaggle of giggles? Me neither.

Then again, three years ago Uribe and Contreras were mysteries that wound up contributing to a championship. Can they produce one more time like geniuses that get lucky? Sure, though unlikely.

Meanwhile, can Owens and Anderson fill center field? Can Danks and Floyd solidify the back of the starting rotation? Can Dotel and Linebrink get the ball to closer Bobby Jenks?

Sure, all that can happen, and if I were 6-feet-9 I could be LeBron James.

It'll be remarkable if a couple of those White Sox fantasies become realities.

Just as it would have been in 2005 if Jermaine Dye not only stayed healthy but was as good as Magglio Ordonez. And if Contreras and El Duque Hernandez pitched younger than their alleged ages. And if Neal Cotts and Cliff Politte recorded career years that would do justice to a Hall of Famer's career.

And if Uribe, A.J. Pierzynski, Tadahito Iguchi and Scott Podsednik were championship pieces collected from near, far and points between.

So, it can happen because it did. However, happening once was improbable and twice in four seasons is nearly impossible.

If it does -- there's that if word again -- maybe Williams really is a genius. Sorry, though. It looks from here more like the Sox will make the playoffs only if the queen becomes king.

Meanwhile, I'll keep searching for pigs that fly, men who give birth and Rocky Road that cures cancer.

mimrem@dailyherald.com