Sunken 'Gold'
Like true "Fool's Gold," this romantic comedy is a cheap and glittering imitation of the real thing.
The TV commercials and theatrical trailers portray it as a riotous romp.
Don't be fooled.
Warner Bros.' marketing department robbed every major stunt and plot twist from the movie just to make its trailer seem interesting.
Presumably, "Fool's Gold" means to be a lighthearted rom-com about two ex-spouses on a grand adventure to discover buried treasure off the Florida coast.
So why the gun execution of a defenseless thug? Or the crimson death of another thug, ripped to pieces in a watery cave that acts as nature's wood chipper?
Is this Andy Tennant's "Fool's Gold" or the Coen brothers' "Fool's Gold"?
Tennant's, of course.
And he has a tough time finding a consistent tone for a story that indulges in gay and dumb-socialite stereotypes, incompatible violence and fizzling chemistry.
Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, who starred in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," show us how to lose an audience in 10 minutes. Maybe 30 for hardcore fans.
She plays Tess, a young woman who's divorcing her scalawag hubby Finn (McConaughey) for his immaturity. She says he's only good at three things: looking for treasure, finding money to look for treasure, and a third thing she won't talk about.
Her divorce attorney explains: "You married the guy for sex and then expected him to be smart!" (This begs the question: Exactly how smart can Tess be?)
Finn owes a lot of money to Bigg Bunny (comedian Kevin Hart), a rapper-turned-gangster. When Finn discovers a dish from a treasure known as the Queen's Dowry -- millions of dollars' worth of gold and jewels lost at sea in 1715 -- he scrambles to find the rest of the loot.
He enlists the aid of billionaire Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland, armed with an effetely snooty Brit accent), hanging out on his yacht with his estranged, pampered-princess daughter Gemma ("Invasion" actress Alexis Dziena).
Meanwhile, Bigg Bunny gets wind of the treasure hunt. So does Finn's old salvage mentor Moe Fitch (Ray Winstone), who figures on beating his protégé to payday.
In this adventure, every main character gets a sidekick. Finn has a Ukrainian pal, Tess gets two gay chefs, and Bigg Bunny has a hired killer sidekick.
Don Burgess' color-saturated camera work gives "Fool's Gold" a shimmering, alluring sheen and so do attractive stars Hudson and McConaughey. (He's the one who spends most of his time topless to capitalize on his Adonis physique. This could be a rare example of a movie where the guy's bod commands more attention than the girl's.)
McConaughey and Hudson struck a few sparks in their last film. Here, they switch on their emotional auto-pilot devices and fail to suggest the rediscovered passions of ex-spouses in dangerous circumstances.
That leaves Dziena, stuck with the Paris Hilton role of Gemma, as the only cast member who actually transcends her perfunctory character and wins our hearts.
Her performance, sincere and touching, constitutes the single piece of dramatic gold in a movie otherwise filled with fools.
"Fool's Gold"
1½ stars out of four
Starring: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Donald Sutherland and Ray Winstone
Directed by: Andy Tennant
Other: A Warner Bros. release. Rated PG-13 (violence, sexual situations, language, nudity). Running time: 112 minutes.