Least Illinois could do is give us a new coach
Well, Illinois football fans, this sure isn't much fun.
Another dreadful season is one thing. Another dreadful season without the prospect of changing head coaches is something else.
Color Fighting Illini athletic director Ron Guenther the culprit for insisting weeks ago that Ron Zook would be back next season.
Zook said after Saturday's season-ending 53-52 loss to Fresno State, "I'm not sure what I'm thinking right now."
The Zooker was clueless that some might consider that remark a sign of the problem down there.
Regardless, Illinois alumni like me at least should be immersed in the national pastime of firing one head coach and hiring another.
Why should Notre Dame alums be able to march around with Charlie Weis' head on a stake while we have our heads in our hands?
Why should they and not us be able to consume rumor after rumor on blog after blog before conjuring new ones of their own?
Why should Urban Meyer, Bob Stoops and Vince Lombardi be on the ND's shortlist of potential replacements for Weis while the Illinois doesn't even have a list?
Seriously, it isn't fair that Illini alums are stuck with Zook despite a 3-9 season and only one winning record in five tries.
Maybe Guenther simply is grateful Illinois is primed to finish in the Top 100 of the Sagarin college ratings.
Maybe the AD is rewarding Zook for the Illini beating out powerful Indiana to finish 10th among the Big Ten's 11 schools in conference victories this decade.
Maybe Guenther, reportedly a year or so from retirement, merely is weary of replacing football and basketball coaches.
That's the AD's perspective. The sports writer's perspective is to never be tired of firing and hiring coaches.
Like at Illinois recently it was a pleasure to fire Lou Tepper and hire Ron Turner and then fire Turner and hire Zook.
If a coaching change in Champaign were possible now it would be fun to speculate that Meyer wants to follow Zook from Florida to Illinois because his real dream job is in Champaign and not South Bend.
Or how about trying to hire Cincinnati's Brian Kelly if he doesn't get the Irish job, even if he did beat Pittsburgh's dubious Dave Wannstedt by only a point Saturday?
I'm trying to get Bears coach Lovie Smith fired, too, of course. The downside of succeeding could be that he replaces Zook, but it's a chance we'll have to take for the joy of participating in the coaching-go-round.
Listen, I don't mean to be too hard on Zook. Illinois is a tough place to compete in football compared to basketball, where naturally I also have tried to get Bruce Weber fired.
But it shouldn't be tough in football for Illinois to beat Indiana, compete with Northwestern in the middle of the Big Ten and finish 6-6 to qualify for, say, the Pizza Bowl in Detroit that Notre Dame is too self-important to stoop into.
"There's no doubt in my mind the program is on the way up," Zook said. "We're not near as far away as people think."
Coach, you can't imagine how far away people like me think Illinois is after a season like this.
mimrem@dailyherald.com