Fat cats not right choice to sell Chicago
Sorry, but I chose not to accompany Chicago's Olympic posse to Copenhagen.
OK, so maybe I wasn't invited aboard either Air Daley or Air Force One. But I wouldn't have gone even if they sent a limo to drive me to the airport.
No Jordanesque excuse is necessary. You know, like responsibilities to the Bobcats.
(Who knew there was a Bobcat Golf Course in Charlotte?)
Anyway, the truth is I prefer the Fat Man Olympics to the Fat Cat Olympics. Give me the cow-chip toss and watermelon-seed spit over archery and canoeing any day.
That's what this Chicago entourage sounds like to me, a bunch of fat cats massaging each others' powerful egos.
What do we have in common with Oprah other than she's on TV and we watch TV? Wasn't the original Mayor Daley the real Mayor Daley? How can anyone relate to Patrick Ryan after he donated so much money to Northwestern that "Dyche Stadium" was changed to "Ryan Field"?
Only one way would I ever have gone to Denmark for Friday's vote on the 2016 Olympics: If Ronnie Woo-Woo was sitting next to me in the VIP cabin.
"Olympics WOO! Olympics WOO! Olympics WOO!"
Like him or not - like the Cubs or not - the unofficial team mascot is more Chicago than anybody campaigning for the city's bid to host the 2016 Games.
I have sat in a corner tap having pops with people like Woo-Woo, but never with celebrities like Oprah, politicians like Daley or businessmen like Ryan.
Seriously, the process of picking an Olympic site is one big deception. It's shaving mustaches off the faces of candidate cities.
Like, apparently we're trying to trick the International Olympic Committee into believing the people we sent them are who we are.
Right, and we all have our own TV talk shows, mayoral privileges and independent wealth.
Heck, the most normal people on the stumping might be the Obamas, and have you ever seen a photo of their Hyde Park castle?
Look, folks, if we wanted to be honest with the IOC, we would have shipped our representatives over on a steamer. Aboard would have been a Lawndale barber, Humboldt Park hot dog vendor and Uptown garbage collector.
Along for the ride would have been a homeless person from the Loop, a single parent who cashiers at a pharmacy in Uptown and a laid-off accountant foreclosed on in Edgebrook.
Let them walk in the door at Copenhagen and say, "Hi, we're from the real Chicago, the greatest city in the world, take us and it's our gain, leave us and it's your loss."
It's great that Olympic medalists are in Denmark stating our case, but they aren't what Chicago is all about.
If we want IOC voters to receive a clear impression of the city's sports culture, send Ozzie Guillen, Milton Bradley and Mike Ditka to bark at them.
"(Bleep) you if you don't come to Chicago" - "If you reject us you're a bunch of racists" - "Growl, grump, harrumph."
If we're going to send fat cats to stump for us, those professional sports guys get my vote.
Along with Ronnie Woo-Woo, of course.
"Olympics WOO!"
mimrem@dailyherald.com